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-   -   An Apology (of sorts)... (https://www.blowtopop.net/showthread.php?t=21495)

BalloonBoyUK 12-11-2019 02:17 PM

An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Hi.

I'm back! :p

For those who don't know, I was (without warning) given a month long ban from the Forum, because - allegedly (and I only say that, as I don't actually know what the exact, specific reasons were) some members supposedly had issues with some of my posts. I don't know any more than that, so I can't be any more specific than that.

With that said, I am 100% genuinely sorry if anything I've said or done has caused people issues or concerns or problems. That was NOT something I intended or wanted. So, my apologies. I accepted my punishment, and I will try not to transgress. I still stand by everything I've ever posted in here, because that's just me. Why be someoone who doesn't stand by what you say?

Despite all of that, I want to say a few things, so that (hopefully) I don't annoy anyone else, and also, just to clarify some stuff too - for my sake, and for everyone elses too.


1) The ban was only temporary, for one month, and not a permanent one.
To those of you who posted comments effectively stating that you were glad to see the back of me, well, sorry, but I'm back again. (I'm not going to name names, but yes, I did see the posts, I did see what you said, and yes, I do know who you are! Those who chose to say what they did, that's your choice, but it saddens me that you took delight in seeing someone banned, just because you disagreed with their stance on certain topics/issues.)


2) I am not a troll. My account is not a trolling account.
Why people state this, I don't know, especially when it's usually said in the context of me saying or posting something that takes up an opposing stance to something. Just because someone doesn't hold the exact same view as someone else, doesn't make them a troll. I am not trying to be difficult, or ruin anyone's fun. However, I do stand up for what I believe are fundamental moral codes. They may differ to your own codes, but that doesn't make mine wrong, or right. It just means we happen to differ strongly on an issue. This leads me onto point 3...


3) I never intend to deliberately or intentionally cause anyone in here any aggravation or problems. Honest!
We all disagree on stuff. We're human beings, and that's going to happen. However, the issues that seem to be at play here, is the fact I hold strong opinions on some stuff. There have been many topics where I've been vocal about disagreeing with others. I hope I've never been rude, or crass, nor insensitive about it, when I've done it, but it seems my "attitude" is something some of you have taken a vehement disliking too, because you feel I'm lecturing you.

That is not the intended case!

I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I try to be as clear as I can, so there's no cause for any misunderstanding. Sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I misjudge stuff. Irrespective, that was never the intention. I am just making my stance clear on that specific issue/topic/debate. Nothing more, nothing less.

Whether you agree with me or not, my views are my views. You are free to disagree with them, just as I am free to disagree with anyone else. Whether you or I choose to change what we do, is entirely up to the individual. However, there are lines I won't or don't cross. That is why I made this post here, when I originally joined the Forum...

A Short Polite Message To All The Hetero Men Of This Forum

I did it, because I was shocked at the continual bad behaviour by a very tiny minority of men, who treat women (and by extension women looners) really badly, both in terms of behaviour and language not only here, but in other Looner environments (e.g. social media, etc). If people want to act badly, or rudely, or don't care that what they say or do towards another person, then that's their choice. However, because I try to be a decent human being (and I'm absolutely NOT saying that I am decent, I'm merely just trying to be), I'm going to call that shit out.

We're adults here. Even if you're only 18 or 19 years of age, you're pretty much an adult. As such, we need to all start being more tolerant towards everyone. This includes things like sexism, discrimination, illegal or immoral behaviour, etc. No one should feel uncomfortable. Everyone needs to be treated with respect and decency. (And yes, again, I include the way I need to act, in that comment too.)

Whilst most Looner outlets (forums, websites, private groups like this one) are always going to be heavily male-dominated, due to the fact that most Looners are male and heterosexual, that doesn't mean that means everyone else has to put up with any nonsence from people. Like I say, I want everyone to be treated with respect. Whether you describe yourself as female, male, transgender, gay, straight, flexible, binary, non-binary, that doesn't make any difference to me. I will try to treat you with respect and decency, as a human being.

Our behaviour - and YES, I am including myself in that - doesn't just affect us. It affects (or has the potential to affect others). When we are out in public and interacting with others, whether it be asking a shop/business whether we can have their balloons, once they've finished with them; whether it's looning in hotels and leaving balloons behind, those interactions involve others - other non-looners - and as looners, we all need to remember that our behaviour might be taken as a reflection on all of us. If one of us does something bad, then it may appear to others, that we are all bad. Clearly, we aren't all bad. But the point is, is one looner steals a bunch of balloons rather than asking for them first, then that's not a good reflection on any of us. So, if any of my posts sound like I'm lecturing people, I promise that is absolutely, 100% NOT my intention. My only intention is to get everyone to think about how what we say and what we do might be perceived by others. If you don't think what you do matters, then feel free to ignore anything I say. Feel free to label me as talking out of my own rear-end. But there's a specific reason I will say what I do, which leads me onto Point 4...


4) I have Autism.
That's not an excuse for anything. Nor is it an apology or excuse. It is merely a part of who I am, and what makes me who I am! Rightly or wrongly, being Autistic means you may say or do things that non-Autistic people might see as rude, abrupt, or inappropriate. For many Autistic people, we don't realise what we say or do, is inappropriate or wrong. It's not our fault we have the condition that we do, as it's something we were born with. It's not something you choose to have. It's not something that will be curable. It stays with us forever, and we have limited control over how it affects us. So, I explain this again (as I think I did in my very, very first Introductory post all those months back, when I first joined here), purely so that people know. My Autism means I may say or do stuff, that isn't to be taken as lecturing, or patronising, or insulting. It's just that I may write stuff that appears like that, even though in my own brain, I'm merely thinking that I'm just writing an opinion down. It also means I tend to look at issues, and problems, often in a very different manner to others. Whereas many people may look at an issue from their own view, I try to look at it from the point of view of others, rather than just my own. It's a talent/curse I have, but one I accept and am comfortable with. That is often why I don't necessarily look at things in the same way many of you might do. It's not that I'm deliberately being a stirrer, or trying to be argumentative, it's just the way I look at stuff.

So, with that in mind, I again, offer my genuine and sincere apologies to anyone who feels I've wronged them, or feels like I've lectured or patronised them, because I swear that wasn't my intent.

I do hold strong opinions on stuff.

I am someone who will actively call out on what I see as poor, wrong or bad behaviour, as others have done with me.

I will try to be more aware of what I write, and hopefully not pee anyone off in the process, as I genuinely DO NOT want to be banned from here. I am a Looner, and I do love this place, and I DO want to continue to be allowed to post here.

But I also ask that people accept me for who I am too - and just because my view differs wildly from yours, doesn't mean I am wrong (or right). It just means my view differs wildly from yours.

It's alright for us to disagree on stuff. I can call you out on stuff I feel is wrong, as you can do with me. It doesn't mean either of us has to do what the other wants, or alter what we do. It's okay for us to disagree on stuff. :)

I hope that me making this post doesn't stir up any animosity amongst you all. I stand by everything I write. I will apologise when and where I feel I have acted poorly or wrongly. But I shall also stand up for the right to be me, and to say how I feel too.

With Thanks for reading this.

LondonLarry 12-11-2019 02:55 PM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Glad to have you back mate. You are a fantastic contributer to this site and we are all better off having you aboard. I for one would suggest you are made into a moderator as you have good sense and are fair.

No apology necessary. Glad you are back.

palloncino90 12-11-2019 03:00 PM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Welcome back

wildheart 12-11-2019 05:16 PM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
I think the problem you had with certain people before is that you seemed quite confrontational and a little condescending at times. I actually agree with almost everything you’ve said in the past, I just personally think the way some of it was worded got people’s backs up. The other thing about the Internet, is that it’s very difficult to win an argument. The longer it goes on for, the less likely the other side will listen. This usually leads to the argument escalating and it getting out of hand. I’ve found it best to stay out of any arguments online because they never lead anywhere. It is very easy to get dragged into one though.
Obviously having Autism doesn’t help matters. I have some traits myself, just not enough to get a formal diagnosis, so I know your difficulty.

Just my two pennies worth. Glad you’re back.

craggy2012 12-11-2019 10:03 PM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Good to see you back buddy :)

AuroraFox 13-11-2019 04:37 AM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wildheart (Post 64422)
I think the problem you had with certain people before is that you seemed quite confrontational and a little condescending at times. I actually agree with almost everything youíve said in the past, I just personally think the way some of it was worded got peopleís backs up. The other thing about the Internet, is that itís very difficult to win an argument. The longer it goes on for, the less likely the other side will listen. This usually leads to the argument escalating and it getting out of hand. Iíve found it best to stay out of any arguments online because they never lead anywhere. It is very easy to get dragged into one though.
Obviously having Autism doesnít help matters. I have some traits myself, just not enough to get a formal diagnosis, so I know your difficulty.

Just my two pennies worth. Glad youíre back.

Just at times? Nearly every single one of those posts had a holier-than-thou, high horse, condescending attitude to them. Weíre all adults here, nobody needs a self-imposed moderator deciding what everyone elseís morals, likes, and preferences should be. I know I wasnít the only one sick of seeing those posts constantly. Judging by this return post, nothing has changed.

LondonLarry 13-11-2019 09:12 AM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by AuroraFox (Post 64431)
Just at times? Nearly every single one of those posts had a holier-than-thou, high horse, condescending attitude to them. Weíre all adults here, nobody needs a self-imposed moderator deciding what everyone elseís morals, likes, and preferences should be. I know I wasnít the only one sick of seeing those posts constantly. Judging by this return post, nothing has changed.

Dude. Come on, he apologised, live and let live. He contributes loads to the forum, I think you owe him an apology.

AuroraFox 13-11-2019 10:18 AM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
That’s far from an apology...the whole thing reads out as one big “Sorry, not sorry.” I don’t mind people having their opinions on here, that’s what makes this group diverse and unique, but when nearly every post from one user is essentially forcing their views onto everyone else and shaming any opposing views, that is not contributing.

LuciferLooner 13-11-2019 11:28 AM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
I read it exactly like Aurora Fox did.
He isn't being sincere he has his tail between his legs trying to get us all to feel sorry for him, so fucking what he has a mental dissorder so do most of us but we dont throw that one in to anything trying to get us to think his dissorder had something to do with his comments and harsh behaviour.
He contributed nothing but arguments and harsh comments and RANTS oh lots of those in england we tend to keep such remarks and behaviour to ourselves unless you were dragged up or from certain provinces in the UK.

He should not be a moderator and the fact he has been banned once proves that he should not i have no doubt he will no doubt be banned again.

WannabePopper 13-11-2019 01:39 PM

Re: An Apology (of sorts)...
 
Look folks ... I rarely post, but enjoy this forum and do try to read the ongoing discussions. I too found his comments pretentious and condescending to myself and others when they were contributing.

However, Iím more than prepared to let this go and have a clean slate here going forward. Also, as someone who has a close family member with Autism, I can truly sympathize. What he says about the effects of this condition is accurate.

Letís move forward.


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