Wasn´t sure where to post it, since it involves generall inflatables and balloons, so I posted it here.
I´m thinking I´m losing the inflatables fetish. I haven´t popped a balloon for months now, and I currently just can´t get myself to do so. All I did in all these months was inflate my gymnastic ball (literarely takes minutes to inflate with the handpump) and then do a bit of fetish stuff with it, but from the balloons, beach balls and all these nice items I kinda got away.
I am wondering. I delivered this fetish as a child (maybe at the age 9-10 don´t exactly recall) but then I also "lost" it for more than a decade, but it got re activated when I saw a random video about people popping ballons by sitting on them, and the balloons did put on quite a fight.
Anyhow.
Long ago I started working on a project which consumes a lot of time. I didn´t do fetish there (or very minimal) because I´d rather continoue with my project for every minute I have.
Time moved on, and I got sloppy with the work on the project (Let´s just say due to reasons) but other things, unfortunately negative, came into my life.
Said project is quite a "fight" to get it going, with people who behave ... bad. Like we write back and forward (money involved) and for some reason they just stop writing to me. There was no argument or anything... so this frustrates me.
In August I got to know a random woman. Everything was just perfect, and I think I did fall in love for the first time ever. At least, I´ve never before experienced such a "screwed up" week (emotion wise). Problem is, the woman is actually married (unlucky married) and she wants a divorce, and over all there was talk of us 2 to get together...
For me this would be a to big step. I live with my parents still, and am over all allright with that situation (I´m not lazy and pay some kind of rent here...). I had to move out and for the first time move together with another person into an apartment.
I just wasn´t yet ready for this step, so I talked to her that she must "fix" the relationship to her husband.
She´s one of the rare (Forum knowledge) women, who´s very horny. Like she want´s to have sex on a daily basis, but her husband won´t do that with her for more than 5 years, so she´s very frustrated about it.
Also at some points he just behaves mean. She has birthday, and makes herself a cake. He sees that, and instead of being nice, he complains about her making herself a cake.
He´s not that bad. He´s the father of 2 children he has with her, and he also has helped her, when she felt bad and frustrated (to long story) but the last many years their relationship evolved like that.
However.
It was made out that she´s going to visit me for a week (it would be her first ever vacation) and we´re going to hike a lot. I live in a nice "tourist" place and she was looking forward to that.
Also - and her husband initially allowed that - we´d have sex. I told her I´m a virgin still at the age of 34, and how much it bothers me, and she told me, that she likes to take that away from men, and she´s done that quite often before she got married and all.
I was totally happy and energetic about all that and did a lot of research about avoiding her getting pregnant and all (Yeah I really needed to learn a lot about that) and everyting was prepared for her to visit me.
My parents still work, so we´d have 3 / 5 days in the morning where we have the house for us alone, and we even talked about what naughty things we´d do, and where are everyones "borders."
The week I could barely sleep because of looking forward to that, being nervous an all, and also during the day I was nervous (but in a positive way) all the time with heartbeat fast, part wise wet hands from sweat-nervous.
Then she, symbolically said, put a knife in my back.
One day she wrote me that her husband now has changed his oppinion and he won´t allow her to visit me, and he won´t allow any type of sex (not even her taking away my virginity).
Due to her not having a job, and literarely being so poor she can´t even afford "eye drops" for "5 buks" I sent her money, so she can buy these. I also gave her gold in WoW so she can buy playtime (worked 7 Months for that gold).
After that, after she said that she won´t visit me, I´d still continoue to support her money wise and all (Has to do something with the "dragon in me" furry-scalie stuff and the way I want to be... always nice)
She was like :O what? Why are you still supporting us after that?
Oh well sorry I kinda got carried away a bit.
Recently (To put it in a nutshell) there happened a lot of crap in my life, and I think I kinda stumbled into some kind of depression. I continoued finding others, tried that in WoW, but didn´t work and it frustrated me so much, that I un installed WoW ...
I am currently (welp over a decade) severe mental ill, even making these posts is demanding. I don´t have facebook or anything... I have steam, youtube and email and some forums but I also don´t have a mobile phone, so... yeah.
I´ve had the best ever fetish session 2020 "New years eve." My parents weren´t at home, they were invited by an aunt from me...
When it was about midnight, and outside all the fireworks was going off with a lot of noise and bangs, I had my own way of new years eve celebration.
I took a lot of balloons (maybe 50-60?) from different types and brands and sit popped a lot of them. I could just enjoy it a lot, because noone would care for the bang noises (they wouldn´t even be noticed) and noone would catch me, as I was completely alone at home.
Now under the year I often wake up in the morning (a bit horny) and want to do balloon stuff, but the more awake I get, the more I lose the "motivation" t o do so. I´m scared someone (maybe the mailman?) could hear the bang and wonder what that was... Yeah, I´ve had these risks all the years before, and popped a lot of balloons, but recently I just got phobic about getting caught.
There also were many close calls. One time I was aggain alone at home (the only time I do this fetish). It was said, my brother won´t come home for hours. I had my fetish, opened the bathroom door (I do it in there) and literarely saw my brother just opening the house entrance door (wich his there, one of the two). A minute later, and he would´ve caught me. He said, he just came home to eat something.
Another time I wanted to do the fetish, and thought like "Shall I have breakfast first, or shall I do fetish first?" I decided for breakfast, which was my luck, because then I heared my dad working in his office. He should´ve been at work, but that day for reasons he wanted to stay home.
Other than that there´s always a chance one of my family members would random come home from work early.
I just got to phobic about getting caught either by the noise or by someone stepping into me (I can lock the door, but that just makes it kinda suspicious)
I also can do some "silent" sessions, like using beach balls, the gymnastic ball, or mylar balloons (I´m totally amazed how strong they are. I can sit on them on ground with my 115Kgs, even ride them, and they won´t pop even thou the material is stretched out "rock hard")... still I just don´t know.
I´d love to enjoy my fetish. I love inflating balloons that much, that the neck starts to appear (just a bit) then tie them, and sit on them. Some carry me easy, some just pop... and that is what I really enjoy, but lately... or since months... I haven´t done anything about that.
I just don´t know what to do. That´s why I ask here. I have hundrets of balloons. I bought a "stack" of 500 misprinted advertising balloons. Some of them are really strong, some of them rather weak (All in the 10-12" area)... I still have >400 of these ... and many others in my stash.
What should I do?
I´ve thought about sit popping some under the bed blanket... but eim neither sure, if it would attentuate the popping noise good enough, nor I really like it. It´s good for a few pops, but when doing it, I want to see the balloon, "feel" it, and not have it (kinda numb) under the bed blanket.
I´m thinking I´m losing the inflatables fetish. I haven´t popped a balloon for months now, and I currently just can´t get myself to do so. All I did in all these months was inflate my gymnastic ball (literarely takes minutes to inflate with the handpump) and then do a bit of fetish stuff with it, but from the balloons, beach balls and all these nice items I kinda got away.
I am wondering. I delivered this fetish as a child (maybe at the age 9-10 don´t exactly recall) but then I also "lost" it for more than a decade, but it got re activated when I saw a random video about people popping ballons by sitting on them, and the balloons did put on quite a fight.
Anyhow.
Long ago I started working on a project which consumes a lot of time. I didn´t do fetish there (or very minimal) because I´d rather continoue with my project for every minute I have.
Time moved on, and I got sloppy with the work on the project (Let´s just say due to reasons) but other things, unfortunately negative, came into my life.
Said project is quite a "fight" to get it going, with people who behave ... bad. Like we write back and forward (money involved) and for some reason they just stop writing to me. There was no argument or anything... so this frustrates me.
In August I got to know a random woman. Everything was just perfect, and I think I did fall in love for the first time ever. At least, I´ve never before experienced such a "screwed up" week (emotion wise). Problem is, the woman is actually married (unlucky married) and she wants a divorce, and over all there was talk of us 2 to get together...
For me this would be a to big step. I live with my parents still, and am over all allright with that situation (I´m not lazy and pay some kind of rent here...). I had to move out and for the first time move together with another person into an apartment.
I just wasn´t yet ready for this step, so I talked to her that she must "fix" the relationship to her husband.
She´s one of the rare (Forum knowledge) women, who´s very horny. Like she want´s to have sex on a daily basis, but her husband won´t do that with her for more than 5 years, so she´s very frustrated about it.
Also at some points he just behaves mean. She has birthday, and makes herself a cake. He sees that, and instead of being nice, he complains about her making herself a cake.
He´s not that bad. He´s the father of 2 children he has with her, and he also has helped her, when she felt bad and frustrated (to long story) but the last many years their relationship evolved like that.
However.
It was made out that she´s going to visit me for a week (it would be her first ever vacation) and we´re going to hike a lot. I live in a nice "tourist" place and she was looking forward to that.
Also - and her husband initially allowed that - we´d have sex. I told her I´m a virgin still at the age of 34, and how much it bothers me, and she told me, that she likes to take that away from men, and she´s done that quite often before she got married and all.
I was totally happy and energetic about all that and did a lot of research about avoiding her getting pregnant and all (Yeah I really needed to learn a lot about that) and everyting was prepared for her to visit me.
My parents still work, so we´d have 3 / 5 days in the morning where we have the house for us alone, and we even talked about what naughty things we´d do, and where are everyones "borders."
The week I could barely sleep because of looking forward to that, being nervous an all, and also during the day I was nervous (but in a positive way) all the time with heartbeat fast, part wise wet hands from sweat-nervous.
Then she, symbolically said, put a knife in my back.
One day she wrote me that her husband now has changed his oppinion and he won´t allow her to visit me, and he won´t allow any type of sex (not even her taking away my virginity).
Due to her not having a job, and literarely being so poor she can´t even afford "eye drops" for "5 buks" I sent her money, so she can buy these. I also gave her gold in WoW so she can buy playtime (worked 7 Months for that gold).
After that, after she said that she won´t visit me, I´d still continoue to support her money wise and all (Has to do something with the "dragon in me" furry-scalie stuff and the way I want to be... always nice)
She was like :O what? Why are you still supporting us after that?
Oh well sorry I kinda got carried away a bit.
Recently (To put it in a nutshell) there happened a lot of crap in my life, and I think I kinda stumbled into some kind of depression. I continoued finding others, tried that in WoW, but didn´t work and it frustrated me so much, that I un installed WoW ...
I am currently (welp over a decade) severe mental ill, even making these posts is demanding. I don´t have facebook or anything... I have steam, youtube and email and some forums but I also don´t have a mobile phone, so... yeah.
I´ve had the best ever fetish session 2020 "New years eve." My parents weren´t at home, they were invited by an aunt from me...
When it was about midnight, and outside all the fireworks was going off with a lot of noise and bangs, I had my own way of new years eve celebration.
I took a lot of balloons (maybe 50-60?) from different types and brands and sit popped a lot of them. I could just enjoy it a lot, because noone would care for the bang noises (they wouldn´t even be noticed) and noone would catch me, as I was completely alone at home.
Now under the year I often wake up in the morning (a bit horny) and want to do balloon stuff, but the more awake I get, the more I lose the "motivation" t o do so. I´m scared someone (maybe the mailman?) could hear the bang and wonder what that was... Yeah, I´ve had these risks all the years before, and popped a lot of balloons, but recently I just got phobic about getting caught.
There also were many close calls. One time I was aggain alone at home (the only time I do this fetish). It was said, my brother won´t come home for hours. I had my fetish, opened the bathroom door (I do it in there) and literarely saw my brother just opening the house entrance door (wich his there, one of the two). A minute later, and he would´ve caught me. He said, he just came home to eat something.
Another time I wanted to do the fetish, and thought like "Shall I have breakfast first, or shall I do fetish first?" I decided for breakfast, which was my luck, because then I heared my dad working in his office. He should´ve been at work, but that day for reasons he wanted to stay home.
Other than that there´s always a chance one of my family members would random come home from work early.
I just got to phobic about getting caught either by the noise or by someone stepping into me (I can lock the door, but that just makes it kinda suspicious)
I also can do some "silent" sessions, like using beach balls, the gymnastic ball, or mylar balloons (I´m totally amazed how strong they are. I can sit on them on ground with my 115Kgs, even ride them, and they won´t pop even thou the material is stretched out "rock hard")... still I just don´t know.
I´d love to enjoy my fetish. I love inflating balloons that much, that the neck starts to appear (just a bit) then tie them, and sit on them. Some carry me easy, some just pop... and that is what I really enjoy, but lately... or since months... I haven´t done anything about that.
I just don´t know what to do. That´s why I ask here. I have hundrets of balloons. I bought a "stack" of 500 misprinted advertising balloons. Some of them are really strong, some of them rather weak (All in the 10-12" area)... I still have >400 of these ... and many others in my stash.
What should I do?
I´ve thought about sit popping some under the bed blanket... but eim neither sure, if it would attentuate the popping noise good enough, nor I really like it. It´s good for a few pops, but when doing it, I want to see the balloon, "feel" it, and not have it (kinda numb) under the bed blanket.
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