Thread: The chamber
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Old 06-02-2019, 09:01 AM
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Benga Benga is offline
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Default Re: The chamber
I like sadism and anticipation, and the rabbit hole of fear leading to worse and worse decisions that lead to worse nightmares. I don't mind the cruelty and games of chicken, etc. In my mind, though, this story is "too much stuff," to the point where the reactions are made numb. A good action movie has, maybe, 6 great intense scenes, separated by dramatic buildups and twists and situations that get increasingly crazy as we take the journey alongside the main character(s). It isn't "car chase / explosion / earthquake / gunfight / second car chase / martial arts fight / torture scene / bridge collapse / drowning rescue / second martial arts fight / bank heist / second explosion, then credits." If you build up the nightmare of the two girls with more space, rather than 30 balloon pops and 5 sexual moments, all as a larger mind game (of the two girls) within the even larger mind game of the disembodied evil voice, I think it would somehow be not only hotter but less disturbing to readers whose wavelength is not 1000% overdrive intensity for annihilating and brain-melting these two girls.

So I do like this sort of thing, but I can only enjoy it in little aggressive segments at a time, rather than as an entire story. It's 15 consecutive desserts, and I find I have to have them all pulled out after the Savoy Truffle.

There are a lot of things I do like here, though. Better than innocent stories, at least for my tastes.
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