To scared to tell or ask

[shyguy]

Hi I'm shy guy.
I'm in a great relationship with the missus.
but when it comes to balloons I just freeze.
She knows about it and doesn't have a problem with it.
She is a fearless popper I'm so lucky with that.
in the beginning she would surprise me every now and then.
but the last 16 months haven't been like this.
no teasing with balloons to arouse me or stuff like that.
once a month if she feels like it at the moment we have a balloon session but only if i make it happen. I have to plan it and arrange it from beginning to end.
I really miss the part of being the one surprised and the one that get turned on by the other..
any tips...? I don't wanna hurt her feeling's!.
I don't want to have to ask her if she wants to play with balloons. Feels one way and a bit lonely

[BusterBill]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

Your message makes your point so articulately and on the nose that I think all you have to do is print out your post and show it to her. It couldn't have been better written or less threatening. It's a thoughtful, tender, caring expression of your desires and needs -- I think you will touch her heart in the most positive way if you share your words with her.

[Jimmy22]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

Make her feel bad. Gulit trip her. Take her shopping, buy her some shoes, expensive meal. Be really really nice to her. Then a day or so later let her catch you jacking off to a balloon vid and act all shocked and say "But you don't do this for me anymore and you know I like it". She'll feel really bad, then say a friend of yours who likes the same thing; his wife does it for him weekly and surprises him. THEN SAY "But to be fair his wife loves him...". BOOM. watch her melt.

[BYGavia]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

Make her feel bad. Gulit trip her.

Hmmm...no. Maybe not.

Instead, how about direct communication?

Saying stuff like “We never do this anymore!” is bound to hurt her feelings. Instead, talk about what the two of you enjoy most about balloon play (or sex in general!), and see how you can structure it to fit both your needs.

Talk it out. Clear up any lingering ambiguity. The fact that you specifically enjoy being the one on the receiving end is something you must communicate if you want to get out of this funk.

It took a while for my wife and I to figure out how to seamlessly integrate balloons into our sex life. What helped us was understanding how both of us get satisfaction from them. Maybe your partner enjoys the sensual aspects of balloons...or maybe it’s purely the thought of satisfying you that gets her going! It’s entirely possible that you will, in fact, have to take the lead in the beginning, either as compromise or as a demonstration of what you like.

In short: Communicate, and use it as a learning opportunity for both of you!

[OverTheTop]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

Make her feel bad. Gulit trip her. Take her shopping, buy her some shoes, expensive meal. Be really really nice to her. Then a day or so later let her catch you jacking off to a balloon vid and act all shocked and say "But you don't do this for me anymore and you know I like it". She'll feel really bad, then say a friend of yours who likes the same thing; his wife does it for him weekly and surprises him. THEN SAY "But to be fair his wife loves him...". BOOM. watch her melt.

That won't do anything except send the relationship downhill, don't do that.

Hi I'm shy guy.
I'm in a great relationship with the missus.
but when it comes to balloons I just freeze.
She knows about it and doesn't have a problem with it.
She is a fearless popper I'm so lucky with that.
in the beginning she would surprise me every now and then.
but the last 16 months haven't been like this.
no teasing with balloons to arouse me or stuff like that.
once a month if she feels like it at the moment we have a balloon session but only if i make it happen. I have to plan it and arrange it from beginning to end.
I really miss the part of being the one surprised and the one that get turned on by the other..
any tips...? I don't wanna hurt her feeling's!.
I don't want to have to ask her if she wants to play with balloons. Feels one way and a bit lonely

As others have said, communication is the key to a good relationship. Tell her this (preferably in a non-sexual context) and make sure she understands that you miss it.

[Cho]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

You could also ask her if she has any kinks or phantasies. In a relationship you need to give and take. Noone wants to do everything for a different person, while they don't receive any. Just make sure there is a balance between both of you.

[BalloonBoyUK]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

OverTheTop is correct. All you can do, is sit down with her, and ask why. Maybe there's something that she doesn't want to tell you? Maybe you've done something, that's made her angry, and she's waiting for you to own-up and apologise? Maybe she's just bored with her life, and the thought of indulging you with your balloon-fetish bores her?

Have you considered asking her if there's anything you can do for her, for a change? Have you also considered asking her, if she's okay (in general)? There's usually a reason why something stops, in a relationship, and it usually means someone's done something, or someone's been neglectul of the other.

Talking politely and having a heart-to-heart is the only sensible way to fix things, but you need to do it selflessly, NOT selfishly!

[Jimmy22]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

PPPFffffffffffffff, reading some of these replies, follow the advice and forever be a door mat.

[OverTheTop]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

PPPFffffffffffffff, reading some of these replies, follow the advice and forever be a door mat.

Following your advice is just going to turn the relationship into a toxic mess. Manipulating someone isn't the way to resolve issues.

[BalloonBoyUK]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

PPPFffffffffffffff, reading some of these replies, follow the advice and forever be a door mat.

As OverTheTop states, if anyone follows your advice, then you'll remain single forever, and will be seen as toxic and a horrid person. Sorry, but I'd rather be a (so-called) door mat, than be seen as a toxic individual.

[Ssbh21]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

I have to say, this is an amusing thread...

I can identify with the initial scenario that shyguy describes, I've been there - and its frustrating as hell. It starts out as all fun and exciting and one day you realize that she isn't quite as into it as she was in the beginning...

To be honest, Jimmy's advice has been my default reaction on past occasions.

But, as the others have pointed out it usually will not yield the desired result.

Just talk to her about it. If she doesn't want to hear you out than it may be sign of more significant issues than our silly fetish.

Just keep in mind it's your kink, not necessarily hers.
I've been down this road more than once, and I can say from experience that being open about what you want, and receptive to what she wants will lead to good things!

[marja]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

once a month if she feels like it at the moment we have a balloon session but only if i make it happen. I have to plan it and arrange it from beginning to end.
...
I don't want to have to ask her if she wants to play with balloons. Feels one way and a bit lonely

Hi shyguy,

I think quite a few looners here would be very happy with such a fearless popper as your girlfriend. Even if they only have balloon sessions once a month when they arrange it themselves. Count your blessings!

Having said that, you do want her to surprise you with a balloon session, that she arranges. Which is a desire you should take serious.
As already suggested, the best solution is to talk to her and tell about your wishes. It's hard, I know, but most likely you get the most results from such an approach.

I want to tell a bit about my own experiences, not saying you do the same, but it may be helpful for you or others.
I also wanted my partner to join playing with balloons and take the lead as well. But the mistake I made, was to limit her. I didn't want her to waste rare balloons, so I only gave her a limited amount of (more or less common) balloons to set up. Also I complained when balloons were not completely inflated (which was the reason for me to not give her the larger balloons btw). During play I took over control.
So this all let her to think she wasn't doing things right and not wanting to do it anymore. Had I been more respectful, we might have enjoyed balloons in a better way.

[shyguy]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

well im single now.
been for a little while now
telling her didnt work out.
i blame myself for this.
problem is i cant c.m without seeing balloons get popped.
im scared without.
i feel like a freak.
even when i tolt the truth about what i feel about her.
how beautifull she is and that my love is real and im in love with her how she looks, how she is.
but all that didnt matter.
i asked what the problem was.
Balloons she replied
i tolt her from day one with it was
warned her everything like please dont start this if you cant liv with this.
but she went all in and there where no troubles she replied.
she is now my 3rd ex Gf.. and i must say. i dont have the enegry and courage to date anymore.
my mind is saying keep everyone away dont fall in love dont go out.
dont get hurt.
my first relationship ended after 8 years.
my second ended after 2.
my 3rd ended after 4.
every single one said everything was fine. and when it all ended they all replied the balloons posted the biggest problems.
im almost 31 now and affraid im gonna die alone.
dont know what to do anymore im done beeing hurt.
but beeing lonely hurts 2

[Dust of the Saturn]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

dont lose hope.

I think if all your GFs are leaving you because of the balloons, then it must be because of how you're treating your own fetish:

are you revolving your entire sex life around balloons? if yes, then no matter how many "you're beautiful" you're going to tell her, she'll still feel like the third wheel and look at you as a balloon freak.

don't do that.

One of the most common method any partner would use to introduce new ways into their sex life would be to leave it as an optional add-on, only your partner have a say in.
In other words, don't bring her aside and tell her you love balloons and can't cum without them and all that; you are basically giving her reasons to leave you.

I am not experienced much when it comes to relationships, I don't think I am in a position to give more than mediocre advise at best, but I firmly believe that you should at first wait before merging balloons into your relationship.

Begin as a normal relationship and then after some time, tell her that seeing her with balloons turns you on, as in, start with the small things: pictures of her with some helium balloons. Tell her she's sexy around them.

next step is revealing your fear, if you have any, of said balloons. Opening up your deepest secrets and fears is a sign of trust and intimacy. Tell her you'd like to overcome this fear. This vulnerability you present to her will strengthen your relationship tenfolds.

if you're not afraid of balloons, then introduce balloons slowly. don''t grab a bunch of uninflated ones and straight up shove them into the bedroom action. She's gonna raise eyebrows for sure.

start up by having them around, then tell her how much good looking she is around them. Ask her how she feels about them (all of these questions take years to answer, as you'll need to find the specific occasion and opportunity, don't be upfront, as you'll look creepy)

after you got the general idea and answers, (maybe she as latex allergy, maybe she's afraid, if she is, you can offer to help her overcome her fear, maybe she likes them etc..)
it would be time to reveal your secret as a kink, a bonus, just having them around in the bedroom without interaction. Remember, she's the focus and should remain that way, never grab a balloon yourself, just have them around constantly during your relationship and if she truly value your pleasures and needs, she will be the one to offer using them. Intimacy is key, and I think you should ask for her kinks and fetishes too.

That's my opinion on the subject matter.

[Little Looner]

Re: To scared to tell or ask

Jeez I'll bet Jimmy is single!!
Always frame things from the "I" perspective..

I miss you surprising me with balloons, is there anything I can do to surprise you or is there something you need from me that I'm not giving.

Anytime you use "you this or that" is going to be heard as an accusation