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Old 14-12-2022, 12:47 AM
Harley Harley is online now
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
(Continued from the previous page, read that first)

As the episode had been meant as an exclusive for everyone there was nothing more to be filmed - and just as well, because I couldn't wait a moment longer. I grabbed Kim by her lapels and pulled her in for a kiss that only stoked my fire and I don't know how we made our way across the floor but suddenly we were back on the couch, only now with me laying on top of her and pumping away like crazy against her thigh.
"Mmm...about time, eh, boss?" she sighed.
"Long overdue" I moaned. "Wanted to fuck you since before we got here..."
"Fuck away. Fuck me hard..."
I sure was trying to but the furniture sorta got in the way. I dunno how intense Kim and Lexi's tryouts had been since the couch was sturdy enough for them, but it wasn't for us. Or rather my shoes. As a knee slipped backwards the heel rammed the armrest and with a sudden pop the firmness was gone and we sank towards the floor as the all the air wheezed out through the hole. That only made me more desperate to finish and Kim grabbed my butt to squeeze and yank and hurry things up. The backrest hadn’t fully deflated when my yells of pleasure hit the walls but by the time Kim was done, so was the couch. We rose unsteadily and surveyed the damage.
“My bad”, I admitted.
Kim poked a fingertip through the puncture. “Doesn’t look too bad. A patch and you can blow it back up.”
“I’ll wait until it’s needed.” Then I kissed her. “Yummy, yummy Kimmy. That wasn’t all, was it? Wanna make it up to you.”
She smiled and ran the same finger down my face.
"Let’s call it an appetizer. Get that body pillow - if you haven't broken it."
I hadn't and went on that little errand, finding that Kimber had restored her look by the time I returned. She set to work on mine, touching up and straightening everything as best she could. It wasn't quite as good as what Lou had managed, but better than most of my own efforts.
"Point the camera back here", Kim said from the unadorned part of the room. "Let's improvise a bit."
Curiosity got the better of me and I did as told, joining her for whatever she'd had in mind. She held up the still-inflated dakimakura and addressed her members.
"We've had two requests to buy this already, and to prove we're impartial and to show Cheryl's got more qualifications than you can imagine I'm gonna ask her to settle the matter."
She handed me the inflatable. "Burst it."
Had she said "pop" I would have reached for a sharp object, but the choice of words made it clear she meant by lung power. As if everything else about the show, setting and subject wasn't enough. A tall order, considering what it was made to withstand, but for the occasion I was willing to give it a go. And to show her she would have to try harder than that to catch me off guard.
Without a word I pulled the plug open, clamped my teeth down on the mouthpiece and blew. There was still room for another couple of breaths, but after that it got tough. It didn’t help the nozzle was so uncooperative – my lips kept slipping and the lion’s share of my air sputtered uselessly past it. Kim stuck a hand in a pocket.
"Try one of these."
She handed me one of the portable valves made for the task and I stuck it in place, informing the audience what it did.
“They’re real practical. This should do the trick.”
It wouldn’t on its own, but I was more than happy to help. Now my exhales went where they should, but it wasn’t easy making them. I felt my cheeks puff out to their very limits as I blew as hard as I ever could. I thought the sturdy vinyl was stretching out just a bit as the willowy printed figure seemed somewhat less slender, but that could just be me hallucinating from my efforts. I was actually blowing myself lightheaded and that doesn’t happen too often. If it proved too much I could technically put it down and off it the way I’d killed the couch but it felt like backing out. Besides, I thought Kimmy might like seeing me succeed as much I as I would with her in my place.
By now I was sure my face had gone red but I’d be damned if I gave up. I shot a glance at my lover, who facing away from the camera mouthed three little words:
“Burst it, baby.”
That, along with her expression being just as admiring and adoring as I’d hoped summoned some hidden reserve. Suddenly I felt like C.J. Silvers, Dino Slayer – the conqueror of Dodo and bane of all inflatable beasts. The puny girl on the pillow would be no match for her! With a mighty puff I felt the material start to give way and made a final, tremendous blow. Accompanied by a PUMM the cylinder split apart at a seam and flew open between my hands, rapidly collapsing into a thin, disfigured sheet of plastic. I let it fall to the floor as I stood there breathing heavily while Kim broke into a slow applause.
“Amazing! Well done.”
“Do I get a raise for this?”
“No, but we won’t deduct that from your salary. Ladies and gentlemen, Cheryl Silvers. Best boss I’ve ever had.”
I took a bow and that would have to be the end. Nothing I could say would live up to my recent actions.

Kim turned off the camera and came up to kiss me.
“Fucking awesome, Chellie! That was so hot you deserve a little treat.”
“I think that should be worth a big one.”
“Just wait and see. Here’s something to rest your eyes on.”
She removed her jacket and I stopped her.
“What I already see is a heck of a lot.” I fingered her tie. “You know you wear these better than anyone I’ve ever known?”
“So glad you like it”, she sighed. “Because I wanna make it my signature look.”
Well, she had said she’d always liked them, but that might be taking things a bit far. Still, Kimmy admitting to wanting something was kind of a big deal.
I hadn’t thought up any comment when the strip commenced. The white top went first followed by the skirt and I gasped when I saw what she’d been wearing below all along. Her sheer nylons weren't pantyhose but stockings, fastened to her peekaboo panties with shiny black garters. While I'd known a bra had to be there, I’d had no idea it was so…elaborate. And sexy.
Looking like that she could be a professional lingerie model, and my jaw might have dropped just a little. She picked up the remains of the dakimakura, shook it out and held it at arm's length. The print wasn't damaged, only slightly distended, and Kim looked it over appraisingly before putting the whole thing aside.
"If they ever put me on one of those I would want it to be full-sized. With me wearing this and the hole just… About… Here."
She put two fingers on the opening in her underwear, spreading them along with what was below to emphasize the point. The sight was very inviting and I felt my tongue run across my lips.
"You'd be cool with that?"
Kim leered. "I know people get off to pics of me. What's the diff between that and actually humping one?"
"Fair point. Just never mention it to Kriss or she might commission a custom. That we can't really use."
"Wonder if they'd sell."
"Kimmily, if we ran a sex store I'd be all for it. But we don't."
"Too bad. I'd pose holding a very full balloon in my left and an empty one halfway to my lips… Something like this."
She planted her feet somewhat apart and showed what she meant with a saucy, playful grin that could as easily be an expectant inhale. Sam could probably make an interesting drawing from a photo of that, which was why I hoped the blonde wasn't getting any ideas.
"I love the idea of them having to blow me up for playtime, make them work a little for their fun."
"You would have to include a clause making them promise to inflate you by mouth."
"A disclaimer, at least."
I imagined a feller tending to a raging hard-on while blowing furiously to prepare his plastic playmate. Then a very understanding girlfriend took his place and the encouraging look she was giving him was so teasing and loving I got hot all over. As improbable as the thought was, it was just what Kim would do for me if I had the equipment. I hoped someone, somewhere had gotten to experience that and shown his appreciation accordingly.
"We'd sell some for sure", I said.
"I would so be up for it", Kim sighed. "But getting you off is plenty. C'mon, let's see what we got!"
She tugged on my hands and I followed her to the editing room, bringing the footage along for inspection. I hooked it up, started the playback and found the general picture and sound quality pretty pleasing. It should make for nice viewing even if you had no interest in our comments, but doubly so if you did. We did look neat for the camera and the inflations were smooth, effective and, dare I say, appealing. Every balloon seemed blown up to the proper size for its purpose, no more and no less, and there were enough of them to give a fair impression of the work we'd put in. The actual show looked good too and both would be even better once I'd added all the archive material. But the kicker was I actually enjoyed watching myself blowing the body pillow. It was a fair struggle but I didn't make a fool of myself and a rush of elation shot through me at seeing my screen persona emerge victorious. Wouldn't complain if anyone felt like jacking off to that - I'd be honored, even.
"You've sure earned this", Kim said, brandishing a small flash drive. "A little thank-you for all the work you've put in..."
She plugged it into the computer and brought up an edit that took me by complete surprise. The segments showed the rest of the Angels singing a line each of 'Happy Birthday", punctuated by popping the identical black balloons they were holding, the same brand Kim had used to open the episode. Only they were saying 'happy burstday' instead. It was a total flashback to what we had done every night during our final production, and during some of the balloon-o-grams we'd handled off-stage. The main difference was that these balloons were blown to the absolute limit and about to pop on their own, which would have been too risky in the previous context.
A nice idea, but what really made it seem like a conspiracy was all of them wearing the exact outfits Kim and I had sported for our shoot. That little gift from Kriss had nearly given me a heart attack the first time around, and now my other sneaky bitch had arranged a return performance. In a way this was even worse, since the girls no longer had to think about matching each other perfectly and had added personal touches here and there to enhance their respective appearances. I couldn't help thinking they would have had it easier if I'd had a thing for, say, baseball caps.
Then it struck me that those would also involve them simply putting on something they didn't normally wear and that their current look probably wasn't as loaded to anyone lacking my tastes. I had been pretty indifferent to it myself before the night Kriss inadvertently added some connotations. The sudden insight brought such relief I allowed myself a huge grin as I relaxed to take in the pretty impressive display.
First out were Betty and Mandy, one after the other, and by now it was really obvious Amanda was in the family way. Not that she'd grown fat as she'd feared, but her belly was bulging against the black top she wore under the open jacket to somewhat hide the effect. Her heart-shaped face was a bit rounder too, in a cute way that became her.
Then came single shots of Jo and Sam, singing just two words each and popping their balloons before vanishing as quickly as they'd appeared, followed by blink-and-you-miss-it shots of Nita and Carrie bursting balloons to make the line end with a triple pop before the finale which was delivered by Riko and Tessa. Those two had shared screen time, and while Ree popped her loon on the first syllable of 'burstday', Teresa waited until after the last note to put a noisy end to the song with an innocent smile that looked all kinds of wrong on her. I chuckled at the effort behind the whole thing.
"You have put some thought in. But I'm surprised the Londoners had time for this."
"You kidding? They were ecstatic! Gave them their first excuse for some real alone time. And Nita’s parents were happy to babysit.”
“Checks out, but changing just for that?”
“They said it felt appropriate to dress for the occasion even if they asked to skip the singing. Was a limit to the noise they wanted to make."
I thought the popping would have been worse, but suspected they'd just wanted to keep it as brief as possible. I knew I would have in their position.
"You cut it yourself?" I asked.
"Yeah, getting the hang of it. But I had some to work with."
Turned out all the girls had filmed themselves blowing up several balloons, popping one for every relevant point in the song - which was performed in its entirety. I know, because Kim made me sit through all the unedited versions to make sure she'd made the right calls. I had no objections whatsoever and for the first time felt completely at ease with my dress preferences. And the onscreen ladies seemed as comfortable wearing them, nonchalantly inflating balloon after balloon to the bursting point in a neat and professional way. The only thing even slightly distracting from the formal impression was their beautifully bulging cheeks, but those had always been a vital part of their performances. Samantha had a balloon accidentally pop in her face, but while she jumped a bit it was a remarkable improvement over her earlier, near-phobic reactions. Jo blew her first balloon up until it burst and didn't so much as bat an eye at the explosion. Ostensibly it was to see how far she could take them, but I knew it was really an act of sympathy. If Sam happened to break one, she didn't want to come off as better.
There were no other blow to pops, but I'm sure there would have if they'd been certain we'd use the outtakes. As the last balloon was tied off I turned to the instigator.
"And what did you promise to get them to play along?"
Kim shrugged. "I just asked nicely. Can I help they jumped at the opportunity?"
"Guess not. I'm just happy it wasn't worse."
"Oh, but that wasn't all! They agreed to a little bonus, for your eyes only."
I felt I'd gotten more than enough already. "For me?"
"Just watch."
She opened another video, and boy was I ever shocked at seeing Sam and Jo smiling knowingly at me, looking just as they had in the balloon videos. Shot in sequence, I gathered.
"Hey there, Cheryl", Sam said. "We know you're watching this time so no need to feel guilty."
"Totally sanctioned", Jo put in. "Hope you'll like this."
With that they turned to each other and began to kiss, forgetting all about me for the moment. Evidently they'd decided to show just how much in love they were. At some length. Though I had a feeling it wasn't a spur of the moment thing. Not that I cared - the display was so sensual and sexy I just about lost my breath, because if I've ever seen two people completely into each other, it's them. There was nothing but absolute desire in the exchange, and as if to prove it they ended with a final remark.
"By the way", Jo said, "We're not wearing anything below this."
"And plan to make good use of the fact", Sam added. "Feel free picturing it."
That was about what they'd said on closing night, but this time it was an actual promise. As the clip closed it was replaced by a similar greeting from Riko and Tessa and by now I knew something was up but didn't protest. It was just too hot. Apart from the standard stuff Tess took the time to lovingly and thoroughly suck Ree's tongue, something I knew from experience would turn her on beyond belief, while her beloved reciprocated by pausing to tenderly blow in her lover's ear. I'd been told that'd have the same effect.
"She's in good hands, Cherita", the latina assured me.
"The best hands", Mariko moaned. "And lips, and ohh…"
Whatever she was about to say was cut off by another demonstration of the latter and they sank out of view, ending the vid. There was more, though.
"Something not meant for general viewing", Betty told us, "but ogle all you want."
"It's my turn to be her dolly", Mandy said with a happy grin and puckered up prettily. Her wife took her face in both hands, covered her lips with her own and blew so sweetly you'd understand Amanda's eyelids going all a-flutter. Elizabeth lowered a hand to test the tumny for firmness, then looked thoughtful.
"You can take some more", she said and blew again.
Mandy looked like she was able to take a lot more and willing to risk it, but had to settle for what she got. Disregarding any viewers she grabbed Betty's head fiercely, eyes burning with passion.
"Wish you could blow me up…"
Then she went to work on her lover's lips, the self-confessed most erogenous part of Betty's body, licking and nibbling and treating her mouth to everything it could ever ask for. A delighted jaw dropped in response as her head tilted back, accompanied by gasps that showed just how nice she found it. Eventually she regained enough composure to return the kiss and it was evident things were about to get very, very explicit.
"Better turn this off", the brunette said and reached for the cam. "I think she's about to blow."
A husky "You're damned right I am" was the last that could be heard before the clip went black.
Not for long though, as Vanita and Caroline appeared looking at us from across the Atlantic.
"Thanks for the excuse to do this", Nita said. "So hard to get time alone these days."
"Not that we don't manage enough to scrape by", Carrie added, "but a planned session is grand!"
Then they wasted no more of the opportunity on words and were all over each other. You could tell how much they'd longed for it and within moments the redhead's hand had slipped beneath Vanita's jacket to cup and fondle. Their kissing was so urgent I felt a twinge of guilt for cutting in on their precious time, but it didn't seem wasted in the least. It was something they most definitely would have done anyway and sharing it with me was either just a courtesy or blatant exhibitionism. I imagined the latter. As Nita's amazingly long tongue withdrew with a final, loving lick I hoped the rest of their sojourn had been spent at least as nicely.
"That was something to be sure", I said. "So what did you tell'em? 'I'm gonna see how hard I can make Cherry wince. Wanna make it a contest?'"
"There's no evidence. And I didn't use those actual words."
"If I'd been a guy you would have. Except for leaving out 'wince'."
"Damn right I would. But I thought you'd be happy. Aren't you?" she asked with such a cute pout I'd forgiven anything.
"Happy, flattered, flustered, yes. But also incredibly frustrated..."
I slid my hand inside her jacket the way I'd seen Carrie do. "I notice you didn't do any on-screen kissing…"
"Saved it up for you. Besides, my partner had another partner."
She touched the quick dial on her phone and the answer was surprisingly quick. But not as surprising as the view of the video call.
Lexi and Kris's were both at the other end, having dressed up just like all the rest. And evidently put in a real effort in the makeup department too.
"We had a photo sesh too", Kriss explained. "How was your shoot?"
"Just fine, but why are we keeping the distance?"
"So you can watch the final installment as intended."
With that the phone was set down and the kissing commenced. Once more I looked on while my wife locked lips with another lady dear to my heart, sucking and moaning and getting so into it I was aching to join them, on either side or both.
“Hey, save some for me…”
Lex looked straight at the lens.
"You're not missing anything, Cherrie. Tomorrow I'll give you this."
Then she covered Kriss' mouth with her own and began to kiss with such feeling I got outright envious. The cradling of each other's faces in tender grips seemed so wonderful I couldn't wait to get my share, but for now all they could do was turn me on. With considerable success. I had to tell them I'd had all I could take before they broke off, wishing us a pleasant afternoon in sultry tones before hanging up. I had to lean on Kim's shoulder for support and she took the chance to stick her tongue in my ear.
"I promised you a kissing show you'd never forget", she whispered.
"Not in a hurry…" I panted. "And now what…?"
"And now, Cherry baby…I'm gonna kiss you until you come."
Her fingers ran down my cheek to copy Lexi's style and when our lips met a shudder shot through me all the way to my feet. Since my hand immediately went between my legs it took Kim less than twenty seconds to deliver on that promise, but then she said "Cheater" and made me hold her instead until she'd managed it the proper way too. If you know a better way to spend six minutes I'd sure like to hear it.

Kim kept caressing my hair, licking my neck and blowing in my ear while I recuperated, and before I could ask she revealed her plans weren't finished.
"That's it for starters. Ready for the main course?"
I was eager to see what that'd entail and followed her to the Fun-geon, but once inside I put her ideas on hold by taking the inflatable copy of me from its shelf.
"Blow her up", I commanded, thrusting the limp doll into Kimmy's hands. "Blow her as hard as she gets."
She obeyed, puffing away as fast as she could while I took all of my clothes off. I put them on the just-filled mannequin and placed it on the bed.
"Now fuck her. I wanna see what you'd do to me without my reactions getting in the way."
Holy shit, was that ever encouraging. Kim went at it with such fervor I feared it would be the end of Silly Two (long story), but she held up admirably and the sight inspired me so much I had to inflate Kim's counterfeit twin in a hurry to join them. I barely looked at the doll I was grinding against - my eyes were glued on Kim unleashing her desire on her unmoving companion. I began talking dirty to her, saying all the things I imagined the voiceless effigy would have wanted to, and that spurred her into an absolute frenzy. Watching Kimmy getting her kicks while growling the filthiest things imaginable made me want to switch places with the doll, but the stiff, blown-up thigh between my legs was enough to finish me off for the moment. Kim pretended the noises were coming from her current partner and moaned encouragements while picking up the speed to cross the line herself. Her yelps and cries rang through the room and I waited for the right moment to pull her into my arms.
"Bestest fuckbuddy."
"Dearest friend."
I pushed the dolls to the floor. "Love you, Kimmilly. Sorry for hijacking your plan."
"It was in the right spirit", Kim panted. "I thought we should spend the rest of the day on the air."
As we happen to own just about every inflatable sex toy we've come across it wouldn't be too difficult, and if that wasn't enough the bed was the blow-up variety too. The only trouble would be to choose where to start, but after some R&R Kim walked over to Blowser who was standing in a corner, beginning to sag from lack of use. She knelt down to remedy that.
While she blew the dragon back into shape I relieved her of the lingerie, dressing Inflata-Kim like the original had been only moments before and posing her in the arms of Silly Two. They could keep each other company, because we had no more time for them. I joined Kimmy for a nice ride on the mythical beast before we gathered up every prop we could possibly use and brought them to the bed for preparation, inflation or reinflation. Then I donned the best strap-on I'd found so far - with dual-action for her and her pleasure - and opened the bedside drawer to pull out as big a handful of various balloons I could hold. I dropped them all over Kim's nude, prone body as she grinned and spread wide for me.
"Now…" I leered. "Let me remind you how much harder you come when you blow."

Hours must have passed but we didn't exactly keep track, and what we actually did could probably fill a small encyclopedia on wickedness. When I finally left wearing only a robe I could barely walk. Kriss gave me an amused look as I staggered into the kitchen.
"Guess you've been enjoying yourself?"
I nodded in passing.
"Good on you", she smiled. "Where's Kimmy?"
"Fast asleep in the Fun-geon", I replied after downing some orange juice. "If you think I'm a wreck you should see the other girl."
"Sounds like a happy anniversary."
"Could call it that. By the way, we're out of loons downstairs."
There was an impressed whistle. "Really? Seems I refilled only yesterday."
"What can I say? They died for a good cause."
And in the name of science. I'd found out exactly how hard I could come while blowing.
"Done for the day then?"
"Almost. I promised her I'd bring dessert."
Which I did, in the form of Kriss and Lex to spend the night with us. Lexi snuggled up in her wife's half-conscious embrace while I spooned the blonde and Krissie did the same with me, reaching across us all to complete the circuit. By way of bedtime story they whispered what they'd kept themselves busy with, wording it matter-of-factly enough to make the recounting only moderately arousing. As I drifted off into sleep I promised myself to have them show some of the episodes instead of just telling. I had a feeling a lot was lost in translation.

The next day I immediately began working on editing, which took even more time than I had suspected but shaped up to be a fitting commemorative edition. Kriss had been so wowed by the latex carnage left in our wake she'd volunteered to clean it up - another memorable event. Lex had been more impressed by the remains of the inflatable love seat, or whatever to call the black shape designed to support all kinds of interesting positions. She had figured it burst-proof but evidently it wasn't. Granted, it had held up pretty well, and the description of what we'd been doing when it went bust made her beg Kriss for a replacement. Preferably today.
Kim wanted some more sleep and I couldn't blame her, though I perked right up when Lexi walked in to give me what she'd said she would. She even showed me the pics they had taken plus a filmed encore of the live show they'd put on for me. Getting some of that myself along with some expert fingering seriously hampered my progress, but a girl's gotta have priorities. Even if the office couch withstood the following make-out session, I decided against telling Lex about the other. She'd just laugh and break the mood.
Eventually I was summoned to lunch and a freshly-restored Kim joined us wearing a sky blue t-shirt and a matching bow tie. On her it didn't look like a quirky, haphazard addition but an elegant accessory put on with some care.
"You're a bit early dressing for dinner", I noted.
"Just trying out my new signature look", she said. "Is it okay with you?"
And it actually was. My wife would probably have something to say, though - and she did.
"If she gets one I do too."
"Can't have the same”, I said.
"Wasn't thinking that. I thought I could start wearing shirts and waistcoasts - crisp, tailored ones. With the occasional tie."
Alex gasped, as that would be right up her alley. "Jackets too?"
"When I go out, for sure. This'd be for around the house. Feels so professional. Not to mention cool and, whatstheword, suave."
"Any objections?" Lexi said, daring us to protest. But we just shook our heads with big grins. Would be low-key awesome having Kriss loaf around like that. She gave Kim a sly smile.
"You turn my wife's head, I turn yours. Fair's fair. Besides, I kinda like it."
So did I, and was pretty sure Kimmy felt the same.
"Gonna get a lot of these" she said and turned to me. "But you get to nix any you don't like."
"Deal."
"So", Kriss said as she rose. "What are we waiting for?"
There was nothing for it but going out shopping for ties. And a new love seat.

The videos went up on time and the reactions weren't long in the coming. Apart from plenty of well-wishes the appreciation was sorta overwhelming. Funny what a difference a hundred balloons can make. And Kimber got some overdue recognition in a private message:
‘I knew you had to be Vikki Trixx! Saw all your shows - loved 'em ever since I was in your test audience. Remember that?’
Of course we did, and all the rest of the numbers that admirer was gushing about. Kim promised him one of the new as-yet-unprinted glossies - signed, of course - in return for keeping the particulars between the two of them, and to throw a handful of loons into the bargain. The episode had suddenly made them a hot commodity and we had several pre-orders for the new batch.
And one of the offers for the dakimakura was renewed and even raised in spite of what I'd done to it - or likely because of that. I was tempted to sell but stuck to my principles, stating it had already been thrown out. Regardless, I got some very flattering reviews of my performance and was even begged to become a permanent on-screen fixture. I promised to at least show up for special occasions.
The members got to see the birthday song, but the outtakes from that would be reserved for the second DVD which would hopefully be done by Christmas. But there were plenty of other celebrations before that.
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  #92  
Old 14-12-2022, 02:21 PM
ChillinHaze ChillinHaze is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
I really felt the excitement in this one ^^
First for the anniversary of the show and then the very impressive make out session.

Actually, how big is their Fun-geon if it can fit a bed plus a big inflatable dragon like Blowser and several more inflatable toys and balloons?
I'm hardcore biased as ever but the little part with Blowser got me all giddy again xD
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  #93  
Old 28-01-2023, 12:14 PM
Harley Harley is online now
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Episode 53

Having feted the program, there wasn't many days left to my own wife's birthday. As she brought us along to the costume shop with the promised promo material I sorta feared she was planning some kind of antics involving clothes, and I wasn't mistaken. We'll get to that in a bit.
Jess, who we by now knew the shopgirl as, had some things to relate.
"Thanks a bunch for the pass! Kyle was so happy."
Kim smiled. "I take it that's your guy?"
"Yep! He was awestruck at the work you put in backstage, he'd been sure you used pumps or compressors."
"Most people would", I said.
"Luckily he wasn't drooling at what you did or I would've had to cut him off", she laughed. "But he couldn't stop talking 'bout how impressive it was… so I had to show him I could too."
"Howd'ya do that?", Kim wondered.
"We've got this spare bed, king size. Supposed to be inflated with the pump that came with it. But I brought it out and did it myself. Valve was a bit big and it took a while but wasn't too bad."
Lex nodded knowingly. "And was he impressed?"
"Let's just say he wanted to try it out at once."
"Nice going", Kris's exclaimed. "Think you can do something with these?"
She handed over our last 50-pack from the old batch of logo loons along with some stickers and a printout stating that we bought our stuff in this shop. Jess immediately began to look for a good spot, neither too prominent or obscured. A part of the wall behind the counter was selected after rearranging the display objects and she attached the sticker and disclaimer.
"A couple of these should help grab attention", she said, and picked out a green and a blue balloon. She brought the blue to her lips and seemed surprised it didn't expand when she blew.
"It helps to stretch them", Kim said.
Jess obliged and made a neat, controlled inflation, blowing the balloon a little bigger than her head.
"That enough?"
"Yeah", I said, "we don't wanna hog all of your wall. And with that much left there's no risk it'll pop on it's own."
"Much left? How big do they get?"
"Oh, something like this!" Kris's stated and eagerly helped herself to a red one. She put her skills to good use and rapidly blew it up all the way. Jess recoiled a little when the neck stretched out, but seemed more surprised than alarmed.
"Holy… That's a big balloon!"
"They all are", Kriss smiled, holding the loon up and tilting it back and forth between her thumb and fingers. Then she let the air out and pocketed it absent-mindedly.
"Have to try that at some point."
"Maybe not at work", I suggested, impressed that my wife had refrained from blowing to pop. She has some respect for public places.
Jess nodded and blew her second balloon up as much as the first, measuring carefully to get them even. She taped them to either side of the sticker and nodded with satisfaction.
"Hope this'll help the show. Speaking of help, anything else I can do for you today?"
"Yes, there actually is", Kriss said. She turned to the rest of us. "Why don't you girls run along? I'll meet you at the restaurant."
There was nothing for it but taking our leave and setting off. While I like surprises as much as the next person, I always get nervous when Kriss has something in mind. Her lack of restrictions - both in imagination and finances - makes it hard to even start guessing. But for once I felt at ease, since she was about to have something sprung on her for a change in just a few days.

That morning arrived and I woke Kriss up for some cuddles and an early birthday blowjob to make sure she'd stay in bed relaxing for a bit. Then I hurried to the dining room and found the girls already at work blowing up and hanging balloons. They were just 11-inchers, but high-quality, shiny ones. They said good morning and threw me the bag, wordlessly telling me to do my part. I joined in the puffing and asked if everything was ready.
Just a formality, really - of course it was, but on the kitchen counter for safekeeping. Two dozen loons was about enough for the occasion and Kim and Lex raced each other inflating big golden mylars in the shape of a 'H' and a 'B'. We'd tried spelling out 'Happy Birthday' at an earlier party but the results left a bit to be desired. Then we brought out the chocolate-frosted cake and the neatly wrapped box of dessert-themed pralines from some European manufacturer. I knew from experience it was a very good brand and had called dibs on at least one creme brulee and one coffee in perpetuity. I could already taste them as I went for the birthday girl.
Kriss acted surprised as we played her the customary song on our preferred instruments, then blew out the candles with a single, magnificent puff, getting kisses both as a reward, to mark the day and because any excuse for that is good enough. She laughed in anticipation at the contents of the parcel, flipping it open and inviting us to help ourselves. We had coffee (cocoa in Kriss' case) and cake before being told she had a surprise for us as well. While it was located in our quarters, it was far more wholesome than you'd think. We have an unspoken rule to consider unmarked boxes under the bed hands-off, so even if I'd seen them I would've had no idea.
"Time to show you what I got at the costume shop", she announced and produced three bags with colorful - bordering on garish - fabrics. The labels proclaimed they belonged to the Super Mario franchise, which surprised me since we aren't exactly gamers. Still, I knew the gist of the story. Kim got a pink dress labeled 'Peach' while I was handed a yellow and orange one marked 'Daisy'. Those I recognized to some extent, but was puzzled by the blue number titled 'Rosalina'. I didn't even have time to say we didn't exactly look the parts before Kriss had unveiled a trio of extremely unrealistic wigs with plastic crowns attached to them. Those would help but it was still a strange choice. Until Kriss explained.
"I thought and thought about things you haven't covered and then it struck me - video games!"
She had a point. It wasn't a bad idea at all but a dress for Kimber would have been enough. My darling idiot wife countered that too.
"I've seen how nitpicky fans can be - thought it better to include them all."
"These two I understand, but you're gonna be…Rosalina? Who is she, anyway?"
"Just some kind of space princess, I think. I'm sure you can read up on it."
That was the white elephant part. Someone would have to write something.
"Too bad they're all so pale", Kriss said, shooting a mournful glance at Lex who replied with a bemused smile.
"I'm good, believe me."
"Still. I'm so sorry there was nothing for you, love. Maybe this will compensate a bit."
She brought out a flat, expensive-looking package, evidently from a boutique, and Lexi's eyes fairly sparkled as she flipped it open. It contained a gown fit for an actual princess, light lavender and cream with simple gold embroideries. The squee can't be described so I won't try. Suffice it to say it went on at once and even I felt a twinge of envy at such a pretty dress. The wearer twirled around and at that moment you would've had a hard time picturing her in an action movie. After the sight had been properly appreciated Kriss urged the rest of us to try our outfits too and even if the fit was fine I felt slightly idiotic doing cosplay next to Alexis's new finery. But I had to admit we - for lack of a better description - sort of looked the parts. The getups were probably licensed and there is something to be said for companies caring about their trademarks.
"So whaddya say, Chel? Think you can write something around these?"
"For her, probably. Not sure how to work us in as well."
"You'll think of something", Rosalina said with absolute confidence.
Easy for her - up until this hour I hadn't even known that character existed, and I'd only seen pics of my own precursor. She should have bought a Nintendo too if she wanted me to find out more. Or maybe not. Because what she'd gotten instead was plenty.
"You're gonna love these", she said, pulling out a shipping box that seemed to have been opened only recently. Within it was what I hoped to be shop displays, since the mind boggled at what else people would do with an inflatable Mario… and Luigi. Ebay's a blessing and a curse in equal measures.
The unfolded figures appeared to be about four feet from shoes to caps, so at least neither life-sized or naked. But that was the entirety of their positive qualities, apart from a distinct likeness with the originals.
Kim laughed and clapped her hands. "Bet this will be the first time Peach has blown Mario!"
For the sake of justice I hoped not. After all the hoops he'd jumped through for her it would be the very least she could do in return. If anyone did even half of those things for someone they'd better give awesome head.
As for me, I was Luigi's designated girl. Sort of paired up for lack of alternatives - or more likely, thought up for that particular purpose. Or to quash any rumors of turtle romance. Still, it was just a part and I could settle for that. I inflated what was basically just 'green Mario', even if there were token differences these days.
"That takes care of the plumbers. Whose love interest was Rosie created as?"
"Oh, I think she's just some side character. So I got this!"
A drawer held a deflated mylar star in gold, which wasn't too bad. At least better than that dino I couldn't even name.
Ah well, it gave me something to work with. And also reminded me of the day's main attraction - what Kriss was now gleefully blowing up looked a whole lot like the letters we'd decorated with. I waited for her to finish.
"If we're done here maybe you wanna find out what we got you."
Kriss seemed to have expected nothing more than the choccies despite gifts being an annual tradition and lit up. We set the costumes aside for later - except Lex, of course - and I blindfolded the birthday girl as an excuse to bodily guide her to the living room. And give Kim a chance to bring the parcels out unseen.
The smaller packages held everyday things that are still nice to have, like mascara, bath oils and a new nightgown, but the solid rectangular one was the main attraction. I'd ordered it well ahead of time and couldn't wait to see her reaction.
It was all I could have hoped for. As Kriss unwrapped the giant beach toy her grin just kept growing bigger and seeing it was just the model she'd hankered for during summer made her let loose that wonderful girly laugh of hers.
"Need to try it out right away! To the pool!"
If you've spent any time around her that was pretty predictable, so we'd kept bikinis at hand just in case. Kriss giggled as I handed over her own without a word.
"You think of everything, don't you?"
We'd surely planned for the inevitable follow-up and brought the musical implements to the poolhouse to provide some entertainment while my wife did what had to be done. She was adamant a camera had to be present so there'd be some evidence she could share on social media. I took a pic of her brandishing the box and blowing the first few breaths in before joining my bandmates for some light accompaniment. Kriss doesn't have to be in the ensemble for me to enjoy playing with them, and seeing Kim's increasing skills on full display must have been like an extra birthday present to the lady happily tapping her feet while inflating a toy so big most people would doubt their ability to do it.
Kriss of course had no such qualms and slowly but surely the enormous, blue, silly-looking but cute sea monster kept growing into shape. It wouldn't be wrong to call her a pneumatic powerhouse and I wasn't entirely joking about renting her out as a pump. Would probably be lucrative to install her in a booth at some beach, with the sign 'POOLTOYS INFLATED - $5'. Making it ten would be greedy - air's free, after all. And if you think the idea stupid the worst part is she'd do it.
Anyway, I kept taking photos of her progress between songs and thought of how she'd certainly prefer the whole thing being filmed. But Crystal Mackenzie's a musician, not a fetish model, so things like that had to be downplayed. The episode with the mammoth had only passed under the cover of being a commercial. Still, I was sure the frozen moments of her blowing up this leviathan in her black bikini would be appreciated enough. It was after all the only type of beach toy befitting someone of her talents, and it wasn't without pride I watched her fill it up to the limit by lung power alone. I grabbed the camera for a final snap of Kriss pressurizing the creature properly and one of her posing with the final result, smiling almost as stupidly as the sea dino. Once that was done I wondered if she'd proceed the way I'd imagined.
Of course she did, attempting to launch it at once. Only problem was it was hard enough climbing onto it on the floor - from the water it proved pretty much impossible for her. We had to hold it in place while she straddled it from the poolside and then spun it around so she wouldn't crack her head on the edge when she fell off. You may notice I didn't even think 'if'.
Incredibly enough it looked like a really fun ride and Kriss seemed to have a pretty damned good time, rocking back and forth and making waves. Then the inevitable happened and I don't mean she made a splash. Remember how she had certain plans from the moment she first saw that thing? She set them in motion, starting to thrust and grind against the inflated plastic while making faces that showed it was an even better way of using it. And I actually encouraged her. Soon we were all making lewd suggestions, cheering her on as she wrapped her arms around the thick neck and got serious about the whole thing. It was an amazing sight and while it was a shame to not record it I felt it the safe thing to do. Showing her blowing up the toy was probably fine but I wasn't sure some of her fans would survive finding out what she did with it. Heck, I wasn't sure I would. I got so hot and bothered perving on Kriss fucking the huge inflatable while bobbing up and down on actual water I sorta wished we'd been at some secluded beach to make the thrill even greater. Being secretly watched while watching would be strangely exciting.
"That's it - pop against him, baby!" Lex cried.
Kim was as enthusiastic. "You blew him, he owes you!"
"Come on", I moaned. "Come, come, come, come, come!"
And she did. Throwing her head back Kriss gave such a gasping groan the whole room echoed with the noise and the entire float quivered and shook along with her. She relaxed with a satisfied smile and I was happy she'd had so much fun on her first outing with the new toy.
Then she slid off, making the least graceful landing this side of whatever. A leg sticking straight up was briefly all that could be seen of her before submerging along with the rest. I waded out to help her up - she could make the walk herself but it's the thought that counts. Clinging to me she made her way back onto dry ground.
"How do you feel?"
Kriss' face split into a mischievous grin. "Breathless."
She pretended to swoon in my arms and Lexi came over with a deflated silver air mattress to put her down on. With barely a pause she began to blow up the pillow under the dripping wet hair while Kim started on the main part far below. You can probably guess what I was supposed to do and complied without any protests.
Soon enough the bed had swelled up and risen enough to lift her off the floor and cushioned by the breath of her lovers Kriss spread her legs wide for easy access.
"Make it a double", she said.
I kept kissing and blowing into her mouth while Kim and Alex simultaneously licked her, and while only the inflated beast was watching from the water it felt delightfully wicked. Within minutes Kriss tensed up all over and popped in the manner Lex had suggested. I gathered her up in my arms as she recovered and planted a big one on her cheek.
"So how was your present?"
"A-ma-zing", she panted. "Thanks."
"Whatcha gonna call him?" Kim wondered.
Kriss looked the plump ride-on over, then came to a decision.
"Blooper."
"Blooper?"
"Tell me he doesn't look it."
She had a point. The inane expression practically screamed for a name like that and Kriss' tumble had been an actual one - more or less caused by the inflatable.
"Bit close to Blowser but not bad. Heya, Blooper - good boy!"
Alex was already towing the behemoth ashore and once landed Kim went up to hug and press her palms all around it to check the resistance.
"Mmm…you are a good boy, aren't you?"
Kriss insisted we all try him out and even if we didn't go all the way Blooper definitely felt like a nice playmate. I knew I'd sooner or later find out just how nice he could be.

After lunch Kriss picked out four shots from various stages of the inflation and posted them for her followers with the caption 'Look what I just got for my birthday! Who needs summer for fun at the beach?'
There were more congrats than anything else but no lack of pooltoy-related remarks.
'Have you tried it out?' was one and Kriss replied yes, she had. But the only further elaboration was 'I fell off! '. They'd have to guess at the rest.
After lunch all four of us shared some musical fun, with Kriss getting to call the shots and tunes. I think she might have enjoyed that even more than Blooper, but then again, it is her thing. Then she told us we had reservations at a little place I'm not allowed to speak much about - suffice it to say there are ways to go out in absolute privacy if you're willing to pay and being able to openly date as a foursome is worth every cent.
"Time to try out our new signature looks?" she asked Kim.
The younger blonde just nodded. She'd dressed pretty much the way she'd always done for the last two episodes, one of which had just been filled with shoutouts and thank-yous to fans who'd sent particularly nice well-wishes along with reading some of them out loud. We'd reused the festive backdrop for that but it had been thoroughly destroyed afterwards in a popstravaganza for members. Then there'd been a regular ep to show we weren't done with those, but I knew Kim hadn't given up on her plans.
So it wasn't without anticipation I helped Kriss pick out a tie to bring out her eyes and match my blue dress. She wore it with a dove-gray three-piece-suit and a wide-brimmed fedora - pretty gangsta. The tailored waist of the jacket made her look so cool I wished she'd keep it on all evening. Well, most of it.
Lexi was of course debuting her new gown but what Kim had put on was a bit unconventional and timeless at once. A lavender bow tie and cummerbund to go with her partner was all very well, but the white double-breasted jacket and pants were unexpected. Still, she was absolutely gorgeous in it, having brushed her hair into a peekaboo style more like Kriss' usual style than her own. (This time my wife had opted for tying it back loosely.)
"You like it? Got the idea from a namesake. Been waiting for a good time to try it."
Well, there was no way she'd gotten that off the rack lately so I guessed she'd been stacking up on the vintage pieces. She showed me a pic of the inspiration and it wasn't bad at all, but I doubted any Hollywood A-listers would get away with it these days. Would be fun to know what the fashionistas had to say about Ms. Basinger the night she wore that.
To pass the time waiting for our ride we finished the bag of party balloons, racing to blow them all to pop. Kriss won, of course, but Kim got a loon as white as her suit that put up such a fight it was a shame we didn't film it for the site. It outright refused to pop, even after she'd blown the neck to a near-unbelievable length, and before she was done her bright red lipstick was smeared all over it. The loon lost, of course, but not without giving off an incredible bang and scattering itself all over the room. The poor presenter was so taken by the struggle she had to blow an orange one to burst right away to make sure she hadn't lost her touch. As that went much smoother she gave a satisfied smile and put her makeup back in order.
The rest of the night was just dreamy and when we got back from dining and dancing the smooching and fondling took over. We'd almost made our way to the bedroom when I decided to pull a fast one. I ran my hand over Kim's hair and looked straight into her eyes.
"Kimmy - do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Kissie didn't believe me when I said how fast you made me come with that lip service", I pouted. "Show her?"
"My pleasure."
I meant she'd do it to me again, but she went to work on the birthday girl instead. Ah well, at least I got the missing part of that kiss show. Lexi sidled up to me and blew in my ear.
"Blondie isn't the only one who can do that…"
She went on to prove her point and then things got real competitive. In the good way, where everyone wins.

I didn't describe my mates' getups just to satisfy my own whims - it marked the point when they actually began making good on their intentions. Earlier that fall we'd discussed a pilgrim outfit for the Thanksgiving show, but that was changed to having Ms. Kimber put on her ruffle-collared shirt, the hand tied navy bow around the collar adorned with tiny white polka dots. A dark blue waistcoat made her even more prim and proper, even if the makeup was at least a little bit provocative.
One decision that didn't change was to put the inflatable turkey to the only practical use it could ever have and I suppose the folks at Puffco had intended it for something related to the holiday. Though what is beyond me. At least it served admirably as a prop for 'On the Air' and the unlicensed teacher blew it full of her breath with more dignity than the situation called for. Or should have.
With that in place she gave a little lecture on the history of the day, but it was stuff already covered by real schools here in the states. She mentioned how it has its roots in European harvest festivals, but also religious observances giving thanks to God for having survived the transatlantic voyage, for making it through a harsh winter and other acts of providence. Various places in New England and Virginia claim to have held the first Thanksgiving feast in the US, bolstering their claims by defining their version - religious observation or secular holiday - as the one that should be counted. President Kennedy tried to put all that to rest by declaring them all equally important, but the squabble naturally keeps going. October 1621 is generally held to be the true date, when a group of pilgrims celebrated their first harvest together with the Wampanoag tribe of natives who'd helped them get settled.
The version we know was decided by Lincoln to fall on the fourth Thursday in November, but Roosevelt thought holding it earlier would help the Christmas shopping season. So in 1939 he moved it a week forward, which only messed with people's schedules and plans for the holiday. Needless to say, 'Franksgiving' was only celebrated three times before being moved back to its proper place.
Serving large dinners is in keeping with celebrating bountiful harvests, and the traditional food involves stuff that could be found locally by the new settlers - turkey, green beans, cranberries, corn, potatoes, squash and pumpkins. The size of the meals means more food is eaten in the States at Thanksgiving than on any other date. Apart from the gorging and squabbling around the table there's also football on TV, 'Alice's Restaurant' on the radio and Alka-Seltzer in the cabinet. Oh, and religion of course plays a part. Your beliefs may vary.
Kim went through all that for the benefit of her non-US viewers and revealed the turkey behind her would live through the season as it had received a presidential pardon, just like the bird annually gifted to the incumbent. Then she went on to more relevant things.
"Of course, another well-known tradition is Macy's Thanksgiving parade, where carnival floats and giant balloons of famous characters make their way through the streets of New York. It's been around since 1924, which makes it the second oldest in the States - only beaten by Philadelphia’s parade which was started by another department store - Gimbel’s - in 1920. However, Macy’s is tied for age with ‘America’s Thanksgiving Parade’ in Detroit.”
Ms. Kimber adjusted her thin glasses before going on. "The first years it consisted of employees in colorful clothes, marching bands, floats and wild animals on loan from Central Park Zoo. As it was intended to open the Christmas shopping season, the climax of the show was putting Santa Claus on a throne on the store balcony. The whole thing was such an immense success it was repeated the next year and became an annual tradition, but since the beasts tended to scare children it was decided to have them replaced in 1928. The substitute turned out to be inflatable rubber creatures."
The presenter took out what looked like a floppy toy lion, only with a big balloon neck instead of a tail. She placed it between her lips and exhaled, immediately making the critter's body swell up. The thick mane and legs kept their shape as the rest kept inflating with Kim's breath, outgrowing the appendages while getting bigger and more translucent with every puff. She blew it up until it looked fit to explode, then deftly knotted it and placed the bloated shape on the desk. The aptly-named Puffimal made for a good illustration, but I'll get back to that later. For the moment the teacher went on with the lecture.
"This is a poor representation of the giant balloons used in the parade. They were filled with helium and pulled along the route before being released into the air at the end as an extra publicity stunt, with a hefty finder's fee promised to whoever returned one. Naturally, this wasn't entirely unproblematic. One year a cat balloon caught fire after flying into power lines and the practice came to an end in 1932 after a pilot tried to bring one down prematurely with a plane, nearly crashing in the process. And if you're thinking boys will be boys, I might mention it was a female aviator showing such initiative."
I actually felt a twinge of feminine pride at that. Proves there's gender equality even in suicidal stupidity.
"But even grounded the balloons stayed popular and are to this day the main feature of the event. Even if you're not a New Yorker you've probably seen them on TV - the three-hour spectacle has been broadcast nationwide since 1953. Regardless of the dimensions they are still balloons though, and balloons - no matter the size - might…"
She tossed the lion into the air and quick as a flash brought out a knitting needle, resting it point up on the desk at the estimated landing spot. As the Puffimal descended it struck the sharp implement and burst with a very final snap, draping itself from the top of the oversized pin.
"...pop."
Ms. Kimber let latex and steel topple onto the surface and began to list full-sized incidents, picking up a paper as she began.
"High winds have torn more than one unfortunate animal apart, or blown them into lampposts or other obstacles. Sometimes they can proceed with a deflated compartment but often have to be removed completely. And as helium expands with heat, it's important to not fill them too much. On occasion parts of balloons have exploded from too much sun.”
An acquaintance once told me about having seen the turkey’s tail pop for no good reason and I’d chalked it up to balloons being balloons, but finding the real cause made sense.
“Let’s go through some of the mishaps over the years.”
It wasn’t particularly interesting, but highlighted how many times things had indeed gone wrong and just how fragile the air-filled behemoths are. Stuff like
“1952 - Crocodile, puncture. 1955 - Spaceman, arm torn off” made up most of the segment, though a helium shortage in 1958 leading to the balloons instead being filled with air and hung from cranes plus the extreme weather in 1971 keeping them all grounded were standouts. As Kim reached 1983 I bit my lip, knowing what had happened then.
“Mickey Mouse - exploded during inflation.”
Imagine being part of the crew at that point. I’ve had awkward days at work, but none even approaching what that must have been like.
“1997 was a turning point in the parade’s history. So much went wrong that year new rules had to be put in place, limiting balloon sizes, having them attached to utility vehicles and adding a minimum number of handlers. A few examples of what’s known as ‘The Great Balloon Massacre’: The Pink Panther got out of control in Times Square and NYPD stabbed its tail to stabilize it - which helped a little but it still struck a lamppost and deflated. Barney the Dinosaur met a similar fate not far from the same spot and just like the panther had to be mercy-killed by knife-wielding policemen. Several other balloons got minor injuries while a bystander suffered a major one when The Cat in the Hat broke a lamppost which fell into the crowd and put a woman in a month-long coma.”
While that was pretty bad, I was surprised there hadn’t been more or worse accidents over the years. Seems the incident made them wise up to the risks:
“Since then, most mishaps have been of a technical nature, with helium loss and handlers falling over being the most common - although a few trees have been hit as well. Still, the parade is an impressive sight that’s sure to bring a lot of smiles to onlookers. In keeping with the date, let’s give some silent thanks to all the volunteers that year after year make the event possible.”

The lesson ended with Ms. Kimber promising extracurricular activities in the form of instructions on how to make a procession for home use, and I actually dreaded shooting it as we set up the members-only segment. That part had already required quite a lot of preparations. As Kim still held balloons should never be inflated "wrong side first" every single one had to be carefully conditioned - i.e. pre-stretched by being blown up to the max a few times over. The previous night we'd gathered up every single shaped one in the house and all we could find at the party store. Then we all set about filling them as carefully as possible. Even Lex, who’d always felt jinxed around special shapes, had gotten skilled enough to handle at least the giant caterpillars as they were basically just oversized knobbly ones. I worried a bit about Kriss but as I’ve said, she can show restraint when needed and actually did a better job than me. I felt a bit of a klutz when the big blue mouse-ear exploded in my face.
Naturally we had to make more than one of each since Kim’s method almost certainly came with an accidental pop guarantee, but we had a lot of fun doing it. There was just one huge elephant left though and she had to handle it herself to make sure no one else could be blamed for its premature demise. Not since Easter had I seen her blow something up so meticulously, and after five fillings the pink latex seemed to have a sporting chance at survival. There’d be a bunny this time too, but it was a different model - shorter, fatter and with thicker ears. Even I managed to blow one of those up without bursting it. Lexi, however, wasn’t as lucky and stuck to simpler shapes like the big dolls with penguins printed on them. And of course the Puffimals. The fish we had used in the show that had caused Carrie no end of grief were cheap knockoffs, but these actually had a brand name. Hadn't seen them in stores for a while but our supply came from some sort of surplus sale. The time to use them was now or never, because we frankly didn't have the heart to fool around with the cute balloon critters. I'd always thought they'd make lousy toys because chances were playtime would end in tears. A popped balloon can be bad enough - a burst animal must be ten times worse. Granted, the rubber was strong and pretty hard to inflate, but would still be no match for a sharp object as Kim had just proved on camera. The round bodies didn't need any particular inflation skills apart from lung power, so we only blew those up to check for holes. Well, except for Kriss, of course, who filled her frog so much that me, Kim and Lex found ourselves backing away to a safe distance. The pop was sudden and sharp, leaving the mostly intact but torn body dangling from the thick mouthpiece.
I glared at her. "Lemme guess - you were trying to illustrate that fable with the ox."
Kriss appeared to suddenly remember it. "Always hated that one! For a while I actually thought you could burst from bragging."
I'd never been a fan either but I'd been more traumatized by a movie where some brats blew up a bullfrog through a straw, waited for someone to take pity on it and then killed it with a slingshot. Dunno if the rest of the film was any good because I stopped watching there.
Kriss brought me back to the amusing side of exploding amphibians. "Just had to see how big they can safely get. You want them as big as possible, right?"
Kim nodded. "Gonna see if this holds up."
She inflated her tiger nearly as large as the frog had gotten, and Lex blew up an elephant as much. I had a fish and hesitated, remembering the act I just alluded to.
"I know what you're thinking, boss", Kim said. "But these are not the same. The bad ones had the mouthpiece in the, well, mouth. And weren't blue."
I conceded the point and kept blowing the thing up through the tail. It stretched out obligingly and looked deceptively strong, but I didn't go beyond what the others had done. Kim and Lex filled up a lion apiece while Kriss checked a replacement frog for weak spots and that was pretty much it for the preps.

Now the deflated shapes were all placed in a black velvet pouch so we could do closeups of Ms. Kimber fishing them out - would help editing to have a restart point for each in case they blew up in the bad way.
Having moved in front of the neutral backdrop the teacher welcomed the class and started to talk about distinct rubber shapes.
“Now, the balloons they put on display are far too large for this room but I’m going to show a few interesting varieties for home use.”
She produced a green specimen and stretched it for the camera to mask the preinflation as much as possible.
“This is supposed to be a mouse. You may have seen the model - for example, they’ve been popular at Disneyland.”
Ms. Kimber inhaled and began to blow it up. It swelled out, expanded, grew an ear and popped. Auspicious beginnings indeed. If we were to keep that shot I would have to bleep it - wouldn’t do to show her use such an expression. Still, the second attempt went much better and the blue loon took shape as it should. She tied it off, held it up at different angles and placed it on the table behind her. Then she went for the next one. It was very similar but rounder with less pronounced ears, although for compensation had a printed rodent face.
“I tend to think of these as hamsters”, Kimber said and inflated it without incident. The orange rubber contrasted nicely with the first balloon and she took out something in pink.
“Here’s a cat” she said and blew, the fourth puff using up nine lives in one go with a sudden bang. As she cleaned it away for a retake I suggested a change.
“You may have heard about ‘Cat Ballou’ - here’s a cat balloon.”
That one survived to the end, the only downside being the whiskered print not showing too well against the red background. The small ears were pointed, or as near that as inflated latex can get. Not even sure they’re supposed to fill up, but Kriss had been very thorough about forcing air into them.
Kim went on to the bunny Mk II and I got a flashback to the last time she’d tried her hand and mouth at that. Even if this was technically a less demanding shape and size she still blew two rabbits to bits along the way and had to start over. But the third time was the charm and she set the purple loon aside with the demeanor of someone succeeding at their first go.
Next came a giant duck and as we’d only ordered those in yellow a single closeup would do. Not that it was needed as the first attempt was enough. I pretended it had been the one I had prepared, just to feel a little pride at my skills.
Then it was time for the pink elephant - the last of its species. While Ms. Kimber blew in long, measured, steady puffs and the shape filled out nicely it didn't last all the way. Just when you could finally tell what it was supposed to be the balloon popped without warning. The inflatress must have expected it and had a line ready.
"Seeing pink elephants is a sign of drunkenness anyway."
Without waiting for a closeup she took out the Puffimal version and blew into its trunk until it took on dangerous proportions - approaching the max volume of rubber frogs. Then she tied the appendage off and it was here yours truly nearly ruined the take by snorting. It was just what I imagined a jungle queen might do in some silly cartoon and watching the latex pachyderm have its snout replaced by a thick knot sealed the deal. I managed to keep it in, though.
Kim inflated another lion, a tiger, a frog and a fish in quick succession and placed them with the rest. A penguin print came next, but she'd saved the best for last. An oversized green caterpillar emerged from the pouch along with her hand and watching her fill it up was a sight to behold. Her powerful breaths made it go from limp and flat to stiff and thick, and its shape made the transformation even more remarkable. If a balloon can be described as getting truly blown up, this was the perfect example. Ms. Kimber puffed away with such skill and force it didn't take her long at all to finish the last of her animal companions, and by the time she leaned the tied-off loon against the wall the collection looked complete. But I knew she wasn't quite done.
"The last balloon in the parade is traditionally Santa Claus, so let's end our little version with him as well."
She took out a big red doll-shape and without wasting any time started to blow him full of air. She didn't waste any breath either and before long you could see a pretty elaborate white print of Saint Nick stretch out and grow in front of her. As a Christmas ornament it was definitely on the bulky side, but made for a pretty impressive seasonal prop. He got bigger and bigger as Kim kept going and before long the trained eye could notice the neck starting to swell. Ms. Kimber, however, proceeded to blow with the absolute confidence of someone completely certain her balloon is able to take much, much more.
I do sympathize with anyone wishing to make Santa look more jolly by blowing him fatter, but as I'd discovered the hard way years before, most balloons aren't molded for that. And just like back then, Kimmy's rubber man literally went to pieces from her efforts. There was a loud bang and the balloon was no longer anywhere in sight. She blinked a couple of times at the emptiness.
"I guess the holidays may be a little late this year. Father Christmas definitely is."
She tucked away the mouthpiece left between her fingers and went on to an extra bonus.
"Now, there are shapes that have been deemed unsuitable for the parade and I happen to have a few that don't quite fit into this one either."
To demonstrate, she blew up an arch, a squiggle and an omniloon, tying the previous two to the anchor points of the latter. It was a weird collection, but an interesting showcase of lesser-known balloon types.
"Then there are outright novelties."
Even before she began on the boob balloon you could clearly see what it would turn into, but Kim blew it up as off-handedly as if it had been a regular heart. The peach tint and the big nipples went uncommented upon as she reached for what would be the very last entry.
Seeing the prim and proper teacher inflate an enormous latex penis by mouth was even lewder than with the vinyl one from a previous lesson, as this one was actually expanding, extending and growing bigger in her grip. She took it from her lips.
"It's important to know when to stop. If you blow these for too long they will explode in your mouth."
Disregarding her own advice she blew in two more big puffs, tied the balloon off and added it to the motley crew of rubber shapes. I imagined a line of showgirls carrying them through the streets and thought it wouldn't feel entirely out of place here in Vegas, only somewhat underfunded. Especially if it got out they hadn't even been provided with pumps. Kim was thinking along the same lines:
"There! For parade planners on a budget. I might add that these can't be reused year after year, but shouldn't be too expensive to replace. A Macy's balloon can cost up to a hundred thousand dollars to construct, and filling them all up with helium adds over half a million to the bill."
Quite a bit could be saved by having the volunteers blow them up as well, but I suppose they wouldn't float as impressively then.
"I hope you've learned a bit about what it takes to make those giant figures so festive. It's an impressive sight, even when viewed through a camera."
She could be referring to either the original event or the miniature recreation she'd just performed and be equally correct. But no matter which, the lesson had come to an end and she dismissed the class before walking over to me, putting her hands over my shoulders.
"I want to right now…"
So did I. I kissed her and led her to the very inviting mattress, guiding her onto her back and getting on top. While she might have appeared like a strict miss, once below me she acted more like a shy schoolgirl and we made oh so sweet love without removing a single garment. Giving and taking like absolute equals, there was nothing but utter delight all around us and Kim held on to me with total love and devotion as I did my utmost to make us both pass the point of no return, and once we sailed right over that she lay back with an adorable smile, leisurely adjusting her already immaculate bow tie.
"Oh Cherry, I love dressing like this…”
“I love that you love it. Because it’s such a wonderful look for you.”
“And you make me feel so sexy in it. Want everyone to see that.”
We agreed she’d have plenty of chances in the future, as long as she mixed it up a bit. And kept wearing appropriate costumes when needed.

The animal balloon drew quite a bit of commentaries, including several queries about where to buy them. But one sentiment stood out, if only for the capital letters:
"PLEASE POP THEM!!"
Kimber replied that they were meant to last at least throughout Thanksgiving, but hinted she wasn’t averse to disposing of them later on. Which was done by way of the aforementioned knitting needle though not without sympathy for the doomed critters.
Another asked if Kim thought she'd be able to blow up an actual Macy's balloon and she said no, of course not. If it had been Kriss the answer might have been different.
At any rate, that rounded off November and as we headed into the final month of the year I hoped Kim would enjoy her birthday present as much as Kriss did hers. I had a hunch she would.
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