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Old 01-06-2019, 01:51 PM
Smothered by tits Smothered by tits is offline
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All i asked her was why she wasn't talking to me about her self questioning if she trusted me and she said nothing just walked off to her friends and started to talk with them and ignoring me.
I got frustrated and snarky with her and walked off to calm down.
Now she's completely shut down on me and wants nothing to do with me.

Last edited by Smothered by tits; 01-06-2019 at 01:56 PM.
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Old 02-06-2019, 01:24 PM
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BalloonBoyUK BalloonBoyUK is online now
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Default Re: 15 days.
Originally Posted by Smothered by tits View Post
All i asked her was why she wasn't talking to me about her self questioning if she trusted me and she said nothing just walked off to her friends and started to talk with them and ignoring me.
I got frustrated and snarky with her and walked off to calm down.
Now she's completely shut down on me and wants nothing to do with me.
Ah, okay. Seems like there's a bit of blame on both sides, to be honest. But, I also don't think being snarky helped matters. If you'd have just walked away, left it a day or two, then come back and apologised (even if you felt you had no reason to apologise), you might have been seen in a better light.

Sadly, I think you've destroyed any chance of resurrecting that friendship, almost as quickly as you created it!

You shouldn't really question why someone doesn't open-up to you about themselves. It can be seen as being highly judgemental, and you're essentially accusing them of being a closed book. They may well be being closed, but they have very valid reasons why they are being secretive.

Now, I'm going to assume that wasn't your intention to make her feel accused, but for future reference, I would take things a lot slower with your next friend - male or female. Not everyone may be as extrovert as yourself. For many, they need to get to know someone much better, before they start opening-up and revealing themselves. It's basically about trust and security. Think of it like inviting a random stranger into your bedroom. On the one hand, nothing bad may occur, but on the other, do you know who they are and why they're so eager to see your bedroom? What might they say, if they see your deepest, most innermost secrets, and what might happen if that knowledge was made public?

If you can't trust someone completely, and/or they can't trust you, you can't expect them to be completely open and honest and chatty. That takes time to establish. Slow things down next time.

I know you were eager to be friends with this lady, but you must slow things down, as painful and frustrating as that may be for you. People don't like to be rushed into anything, and (for the most part) women don't like to have men feel they're pressurising them.

It's better for a friendship or relationship to take three or four meetings (or dates) for both people to get to know each other, and then slowly, and carefuly start to open the doorway into each other's real-lives, a bit at a time. Don't just kick the proverbial door in with your foot, and shout "I'm here" at the top of your lungs! Slow things right down, even if it bugs the hell out of you. Your friend/romantic interest will prefer it if you let them do things at their pace, and not try and rush into stuff.

Think of it this way: if the situation had been reversed, and this lady had tried to be friends with you, but wanted to take things at a much quicker pace than you were comfortable with, and questioned you about why you weren't being trustworthy right from day one, and then she just swanned-off after being snarky towards you, how would you have felt?

This is why any friendships or romantic relationships between two people of any gender/sexuality, have to go slowly, at first. You wouldn't just jump into the ocean, if you couldn't swim. Friendships and relationships are no different.

Slow-and-steady always works out best.

If I were you, give your friend a few days, and if you still want to be friends/have a relationship with her, you could still go back, apologise profusely, and see if she accepts it, and then try starting again. I know you may not want to do that, but it depends on how you feel and whether you'd still like to be friends with her or not.

Personally-speaking, I would. I'd rather have a friend for life, than be in and out of romantic relationships that - whilst passionate and exciting - die out quickly.

The ball is still (technically) in your court, and you could still rescue the situation, if you wanted too. Saying sorry, and being apologetic isn't a weak thing to do, and it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. But it can be two words that salvage so many relationships, if you want to do so.

All the best.

Last edited by BalloonBoyUK; 02-06-2019 at 01:26 PM.
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