The point of no return.

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  • seattlelurker
    Member
    • Oct 2017
    • 51

    #16
    Re: The point of no return.

    I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THE MIND STATE YOU ARE DESCRIBING! For me personally, it's not so much about specifically wanting the pop, but the point of just pushing that balloon bigger and bigger to see how large it will get...

    I love large round balloons, and in particular have a soft spot (hard spot?) for 24" Tuftex, so there is lots of time to appreciate the process and change in my mental state. Lately I've noticed that I'll start with longer, bigger, slower breaths spaced more apart (like 10 slow breaths, then feel the tightness and stretch the neck a little, then repeat). As the balloon gets tighter every time I check it and starts to get a little pear-shaped as it stretches, I'll hit that "point of no return" and feel the need to keep pushing it bigger and bigger, not stopping because I know it might pop in my hand while I've stopped blowing, and I always feel disappointed that it could have gotten even larger and tighter if I kept going. Without really meaning to, I'll blow shorter, faster, more constantly, and with fewer (or no) breaks to stop and check the size and tightness. Just bigger, bigger, bigger, until I hit the limit for that balloon!

    Once I noticed this change in breathing, I started to wonder why... I think that psychologically this feels more like inflation by a machine, and I see the balloon expanding at a very steady rate that feels "unstoppable" and makes me even more excited about watching it get as big as possible (did I mention that this is almost always in front of a mirror?). It's always just that excitement taking over to see just how big that Tuftex 24 will get... and if this is the second or third inflation, the answer is "pretty damn big"!

    Because I love overinflating very large balloons, the time between the onset of "it's almost there, don't stop" thoughts and the point when the balloon really can't take any more and finally pops can be quite a surprisingly long time. The "point of no return" you describe is really when I start to tune out any outside distractions and focus purely on the balloon at hand. It's very relaxing to me to feel the world disappearing and have that laser focus on the latex in front of me, watching it grow, feeling it get tight, watching it go more teardrop-shaped, and waiting, waiting, probing to see just how big and how tight this one will go... and then BOOM, and the outside world snaps back into focus as latex shreds fly across the room. It's really a very meditative experience, blanking out everything in the world other than an incredibly tight balloon in front of me.

    Come to think of it, it has been a stressful day at work, and along with all of my brand new ones, I do have a half-dozen or so crystal purple and emerald green Tuftex 24's that have managed to survive a couple of big inflations so far... maybe it's time to see just how big they'll really get!

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    • Yonkers Looner
      Member
      • Oct 2019
      • 31

      #17
      Re: The point of no return.

      I try to have a little more self-control if I'm looking to make it last, but me and self-control don't exactly blend well often. A bad thing in most situations, but here?
      Sometimes I feel like Freud would have a bloody field day with me...

      Writer, future teacher, gamer, nerd, lover, looner, stoner, unapologetic nutcase

      Comment

      • b loony
        Member
        • Oct 2018
        • 99

        #18
        Re: The point of no return.

        best to record yourself in this situation so you can visibky see how big it got after hyou come down.

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        • Common Loon
          Senior Member
          • Aug 2020
          • 232

          #19
          Re: The point of no return.

          I think about the analogy between (counter-)phobic balloon play and BDSM a lot. Like, someone who likes to take big risks during sexual balloon play not in spite of, but because of, their strong anxiety/phobia: that's not so different than the power exchange that happens when a submissive pushes their boundaries during a BDSM scene.

          So this "point of no return" reminds me of the BDSM "subspace":


          It's described as a unique mental/psychological "high" that is experienced that comes with a kind of dimming of the senses, almost depersonalization, and intense flow - like time no longer exists. I know when I'm looning this happens pretty regularly, where I get so hyperfocused on things that 3 or 4 hours pass without hardly a notice.

          It's not always as intense as "subspace," I suppose, but it does seem to share some common features.

          Comment

          • balloonPatcher
            Senior Member
            • Jun 2020
            • 236

            #20
            Re: The point of no return.

            Gee, I have never experienced the sexual 'rush' or point of no return with the 'pop'.

            Comment

            • seattlelurker
              Member
              • Oct 2017
              • 51

              #21
              Re: The point of no return.

              I really like that description "...a kind of dimming of the senses, almost depersonalization, and intense flow - like time no longer exists."

              I run my own business and therefore have a very busy and distracted job (juggling employee management, parts, customers, vehicles, etc.) that is also fairly stressful (because it's my own business, my subsistence depends entirely on my own success or failure)! As such, it is surprisingly important that my odd fixation with balloons gives me some alone-time where I can separate from reality a bit, and I find it extremely meditative and relaxing (while simultaneously being extremely exciting and stimulating, and a little bit scary).

              ...The human mind is a strange and intriguing thing.

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