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Old 17-04-2019, 06:40 PM
DrJ DrJ is offline
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Default Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Hi All,

Am I the only one who finds it much harder to explain the phobia to a partner than the fetish?

Fortunately, over the years my phobia has become a lot milder, but it still crops up once in a while. I have been open about the fetish with recent partners, but find it hard to admit the phobia aspect.
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Old 17-04-2019, 08:11 PM
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craggy2012 craggy2012 is online now
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Probably bringing up the fetish first, the phobia is a minor consequence once she (or he) knows your back story. It took me nearly 18months to get to the point between us where I could comfortably explain things with my partner. I needn’t of worried though as she’d heard of and was aware of the fetish and wasn’t shocked when I finally fessed up with her and despite them not really being in her interests fetishwise - she accepted them and has more than encouraging over the years.
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Old 18-04-2019, 03:35 PM
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BalloonBoyUK BalloonBoyUK is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Phobias and fetishes aren't the same thing, and both can be difficult to talk to someone else about, because of the sensitive nature of what they are.

Depending on who you tell, will result in one of two things:
1) The person will be understanding, and open-minded, and accepting of it, OR
2) The person will NOT be understanding, nor open-minded, nor accepting.

Sadly, once the proverbial cat is out of the bag, it's hard to fix the issue. So, my only advice is this:
1) Does this person need to know what may be your most intimate secret/fear?
2) Will it improve or harm the relationship?
3) What do you do, if things go wrong, and the person can't, won't or simply doesn't want to accept what you've just told them? (In other words, do you have a backup plan?)
4) Can you handle things mentally and physically, if the worst-case-scenario occurs, and the person you've just told decides that this is something they can't or won't handle?

Unless you think there's a realistic chance that the person WILL accept and be understanding, and it won't harm the relationship, then - for the most part - I wouldn't tell someone, until you really know them well.

I wish you well, but everyone needs to know that getting the courage up to tell someone your most intimate detail(s) of your life, is something that needs to be done carefully and tactfully. The "why" also needs to be considered: that is "Why am I telling them this fact about me"?

Make sure that whomever you tell, and for whatever reasons you decide to tell them, that you've really considered everything. Best of luck! But above all, be honest, and take telling them slowly and carefully. Don't just blurt out that you have a sexual things for balloons. Be tactful, be discrete, and be careful!

(Personally, my way, would be to start off with "Do they know what a fetish is", and go from there, and do it in baby-steps, and when you can have privacy and a relaxed time with no interruptions. Evaluate the situation as you go along, before you go for the final - "I have a fetish/phobia for balloons".)

But be prepared for every outcome - positive or negative!
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Old 18-04-2019, 06:23 PM
PBK PBK is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
I struggled with it when my wife and I were first dating.
For some reason it didn't seem as hard to talk about it as a phobia as it did a fetish.
As for the phobia part, I was a soldier back then so my wife said to me when we were discussing it: "You fire machine guns, throw grenades and are around artillery and tanks firing for a living, but the pop of a toy balloon freaks you out???" Why yes, dear. It does. Very much so!!! I can be a around a C6 7.62 NATO machine gun barking all day but an 11" balloon popping? Forget it!!!
As far as talking about it as a fetish, I think my wife was a little weirded out about it at first, but she has accepted it and has always indulged me even if it's not her thing. I admit, sometimes she gives me grief about the amount of balloons we have floating around the house but in the end she always blows them up for me and is quite good at filling them to their absolutely fullest capacity without popping them.
We play with balloons in "other" ways too in our intimate time. Out of respect for her, I'm not getting in to the details of that on an online forum so I'll leave it at that.
I know it's a tough hill to climb telling your partner but you might be pleasantly surprised!
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Old 20-04-2019, 04:55 PM
Shaxx Shaxx is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
The phobia is way easier to explain provided they are not the sort of person who would use it against you.
I have real trust issues when it comes to telling people about my phobia as so many people think it's funny to test it out or use it to their advantage.

My girlfriend (now wife) was told of my phobia the moment I knew it was going to last, I already knew I could trust her as I wouldn't have been with her otherwise.

The fetish came a lot later and is a lot harder. I told my wife about 8 years later (before we got married), she had pretty much guessed by that point. She has not taken it badly and is open to balloon play but she is always paranoid i am more interested in balloons than her.

I felt she had to know before she married me so that we had no awkward surprises later down the line, although it was hard to tell her, she pretty much guessed most of it and now we are able to live without secrets.
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Old 24-04-2019, 10:48 PM
LoonLover1999 LoonLover1999 is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Tell a person ur afraid of balloons it’s understandable but a fetish is a who,e other board game. Took me about 3 years to reveal the truth about my fetish.

The relief was nice and everybody understood but dosen’t men you will have the same response
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Old 27-04-2019, 06:54 AM
Loon119 Loon119 is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
I have a similar story to PBK. I tell people I'm afraid of balloons and I'd rather be robbed at gunpoint than balloon point ��I'm great with fireworks and the rest of it, balloons about to be burst? No thank you!!
I told my girlfriend at the time I was phobic literally because we were medical staff for a lot of events and a lot of these used balloons and there was always popping. Several years later I told her of my actual fetish and it caused arguments of I loved them and not her and she couldn't understand that they were basically an add on to our sex like other people like chains and whips and all that. Eventually though she came to accept it and knows it's part of me and it'll never change and that she does it for me apart from balloons. She is now my wife and she occasionally indulges my balloon fantasies and like PBK I find she is great at taking balloons to the absolute limit with no danger. Must be something in those non looners eh.
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Old 27-04-2019, 11:12 AM
DrJ DrJ is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Thanks all for your replies, it's very interesting to read your stories.

Funnily enough, I never had a negative reaction to telling a partner about the fetish, some even indulged me. I did have negative reactions from partners about the phobia, and I was often teased about it in my childhood.

I consider the fetish to be enhancing my life, while the phobia has caused many an awkward moment growing up.

I am intrigued that some of you have a specific phobia towards balloons, but not other loud noises. I don't like other loud impulse noises such as guns and fireworks. I am fine with loud music or other loud continuous noises, though.
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Old 05-05-2019, 07:56 AM
BalloonSp9000 BalloonSp9000 is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
I've got the same phobia as you Drj, It's called Lygirophobia and It's everything about loud impulsive noises like a firework. In my case manifested in a balloon fetish but I know a couple of people who get aroused by a gun firing.
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Old 08-05-2019, 05:22 PM
wiselstorm wiselstorm is offline
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Default Re: Harder to tell a partner about the phobia or the fetish?
Well I think speaking about fears is a bit harder than fetishes since one thing is about admitting your own weakness whereas the other you are admiting to your fantasy. Atleast speaking about your fetish can make your happy but it's hard to feel happy if you admit a fear.
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