Re: How do you deal your fetish if you're in a relationship?
My experiences, for what it's worth.
1. DO NOT make it out to be the biggest thing for you in a relationship. Either SHE is, or she isn't. If your fetish really is the biggest deal for you (be honest with yourself here), you have some serious self-examination to do. DO NOT give the impression that it's an "or else" dealbreaker. If it is, you probably have no business trying to have a relationship because every woman will know that it's really all about your selfish lust, and not sharing with her something that can be a blast for you both.
2. What's worked for me is to present it simply and calmly ONLY WHEN the issue of each person's interests comes up...never before. I start by saying "this is going to be the silliest, dumbest, stupidest thing you've ever heard..." (and let's be honest, it probably will be) but I add that it is completely harmless AND can be a lot of fun if a woman just relaxes and is willing to be goofy. When phrased that way, 95% of those who've tried it ended up admitting it was fun and it then happened more than once.
3. If it's going to be only an occasional once-in-a-blue-moon diversion, be happy for it because something is better than nothing...and in time, she may warm up to doing it more often. Take it easy...ask every now and then, but don't push her for more than she's ready/willing to do.
4. Even though I'm not after popping, some women may be nervous about popping. That's why I only use big/strong brands or double-stuffed so she doesn't have to worry. If noise is the issue, teach her how to use foam earplugs if she doesn't already know. If she has a latex allergy -- my most recent one did -- TPU/bobo balloons are FANTASTIC and are just as fun as latex (in their own way, they're more fun than latex).
5. I think I can guarantee that any woman you reach this level of intimacy with will ride a hoppity hop naked at least once, if that's a turn-on for you. It's completely goofy, fun, non-threatening, good exercise...and I've yet to have one refuse. Even if the balls don't do anything for you, they can, for her, be a gradual lead-in to balloons and other inflatables. Since cheap, adult-sized ones are readily available pretty much anywhere these days, you should invest in one.
6. If she asks if you're willing to ___________ with her, SMILE AND SAY YOU WERE HOPING SHE'D ASK because you couldn't want a better sign. She's telling you that your participation will make her more comfortable and feel more like an "us" thing than a performance thing where she's on the spot to make you happy.
7. If, after your presentation, she still says "not interested"...some women won't even consider it no matter what...then you will decide if the relationship is worth pursuing or not with the fetish completely set aside. IMO, a woman who you think you have a good relationship with but is too uptight to bounce around the room on a big stupid ball will already have demonstrated uptightness and you probably won't even get to the point of asking, so you can likely rule out ANYTHING involving balloons. But chances are she'll try it once IF you present it as an admittedly silly thing that is still your biggest turn-on. Then go from there.
8. If she has some kind of issue preventing her full participation in whatever it is you like, but is willing to try something not quite how you pictured it, LET HER TRY AND BE HAPPY WITH HER EFFORT. That's the surest sign she cares and is doing it for you.
8. Keep the mood light and fun at all times. Don't get too intense about it. If it's going well but something breaks her mood, DROP IT.
9. Before she tries anything but has agreed to give it a shot, I ask one question: "After you try it, whether you like it or hate it, just tell me the truth. There's no wrong answer." This will indicate that you're not obsessed with it and can lead to areas of compromise/tweaking if she liked this element but not that one. BE FLEXIBLE.
10. SEE RULE 1. DO NOT BREAK RULE 1.
PS Also assure her that while it arouses you greatly, you have NO expectation that she will get anything sexual out of it. If she thinks you expect her to come while blowing something up or bouncing on something, she'll probably think you're nuts. But if she does happen to get aroused, you can be pleasantly surprised.
PPS Since you'll be aroused by whatever you've asked her to do, whatever you can do to please her while she's doing it will help immensely. Don't just sit in the corner jacking off like she's some by the hour hooker, because that's how most women will feel. Unless that's how she wants to be treated, she'll resent it and your toys will never see the light of day in her presence again.
PPPS If you've already inflicted damage on relationships by doing the opposite of the above, and if you're able to, go back and apologize for your selfishness. Own up to it. It'll change her mind about you or it won't (leave that entirely up to her) but it's the honest and humble thing to do.
My experiences, for what it's worth.
1. DO NOT make it out to be the biggest thing for you in a relationship. Either SHE is, or she isn't. If your fetish really is the biggest deal for you (be honest with yourself here), you have some serious self-examination to do. DO NOT give the impression that it's an "or else" dealbreaker. If it is, you probably have no business trying to have a relationship because every woman will know that it's really all about your selfish lust, and not sharing with her something that can be a blast for you both.
2. What's worked for me is to present it simply and calmly ONLY WHEN the issue of each person's interests comes up...never before. I start by saying "this is going to be the silliest, dumbest, stupidest thing you've ever heard..." (and let's be honest, it probably will be) but I add that it is completely harmless AND can be a lot of fun if a woman just relaxes and is willing to be goofy. When phrased that way, 95% of those who've tried it ended up admitting it was fun and it then happened more than once.
3. If it's going to be only an occasional once-in-a-blue-moon diversion, be happy for it because something is better than nothing...and in time, she may warm up to doing it more often. Take it easy...ask every now and then, but don't push her for more than she's ready/willing to do.
4. Even though I'm not after popping, some women may be nervous about popping. That's why I only use big/strong brands or double-stuffed so she doesn't have to worry. If noise is the issue, teach her how to use foam earplugs if she doesn't already know. If she has a latex allergy -- my most recent one did -- TPU/bobo balloons are FANTASTIC and are just as fun as latex (in their own way, they're more fun than latex).
5. I think I can guarantee that any woman you reach this level of intimacy with will ride a hoppity hop naked at least once, if that's a turn-on for you. It's completely goofy, fun, non-threatening, good exercise...and I've yet to have one refuse. Even if the balls don't do anything for you, they can, for her, be a gradual lead-in to balloons and other inflatables. Since cheap, adult-sized ones are readily available pretty much anywhere these days, you should invest in one.
6. If she asks if you're willing to ___________ with her, SMILE AND SAY YOU WERE HOPING SHE'D ASK because you couldn't want a better sign. She's telling you that your participation will make her more comfortable and feel more like an "us" thing than a performance thing where she's on the spot to make you happy.
7. If, after your presentation, she still says "not interested"...some women won't even consider it no matter what...then you will decide if the relationship is worth pursuing or not with the fetish completely set aside. IMO, a woman who you think you have a good relationship with but is too uptight to bounce around the room on a big stupid ball will already have demonstrated uptightness and you probably won't even get to the point of asking, so you can likely rule out ANYTHING involving balloons. But chances are she'll try it once IF you present it as an admittedly silly thing that is still your biggest turn-on. Then go from there.
8. If she has some kind of issue preventing her full participation in whatever it is you like, but is willing to try something not quite how you pictured it, LET HER TRY AND BE HAPPY WITH HER EFFORT. That's the surest sign she cares and is doing it for you.
8. Keep the mood light and fun at all times. Don't get too intense about it. If it's going well but something breaks her mood, DROP IT.
9. Before she tries anything but has agreed to give it a shot, I ask one question: "After you try it, whether you like it or hate it, just tell me the truth. There's no wrong answer." This will indicate that you're not obsessed with it and can lead to areas of compromise/tweaking if she liked this element but not that one. BE FLEXIBLE.
10. SEE RULE 1. DO NOT BREAK RULE 1.
PS Also assure her that while it arouses you greatly, you have NO expectation that she will get anything sexual out of it. If she thinks you expect her to come while blowing something up or bouncing on something, she'll probably think you're nuts. But if she does happen to get aroused, you can be pleasantly surprised.
PPS Since you'll be aroused by whatever you've asked her to do, whatever you can do to please her while she's doing it will help immensely. Don't just sit in the corner jacking off like she's some by the hour hooker, because that's how most women will feel. Unless that's how she wants to be treated, she'll resent it and your toys will never see the light of day in her presence again.
PPPS If you've already inflicted damage on relationships by doing the opposite of the above, and if you're able to, go back and apologize for your selfishness. Own up to it. It'll change her mind about you or it won't (leave that entirely up to her) but it's the honest and humble thing to do.
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